Way Past Cool

To speedrun well, one must first speedrun poorly.


Accelerated learning: possible through rapid mistake
making

As mentioned briefly in my last article, I’ve been speeding my way through more games than I really should given my time restraints, but I’ve always been as eclectic as I have been insatiable in the realm of gaming. Combine that with how broke I am more often than not, and the monthly games for PS+ and Gamepass are definitely worthy of my praise. Though, as I’ve stated before, my problem is usually time, not content, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to get as much gaming in as physically possible. One of the titles up for grabs this month on PS+ was Sonic Colors Ultimate, for all of you who are desperately looking to get your blue blur fix in.


***Not that desperately

I was itching for a Sonic title to sink my teeth into, so Colors Ultimate came at a good time. Having said that, I would have infinitely preferred to nab a more fully focused 2D title I have yet to play, like Sonic Superstars, but beggars can’t be choosers. However, in the case of Sonic Colors Ultimate, one should perhaps be a little more judicious depending on their mileage lest they are a huge fan of the speedy hog, as this game is a bit of mixed bag. Colors Ultimate adds some new content that the original didn’t have, which is good for returning players, but it’s mostly window dressing. With that said, what’s worse and more so important involving he unfortunate reality of the title is that Colors Ultimate is actually way glitchier than the original release, which in the land of the speedster, is a particularly troublesome thing to hear.


What I imagine most Sonic fans look like upon the
seeing the glitches of any new title at launch

So yeah, not the greatest re-release, but if you’re looking for a quick hit of the 3D Sonic good stuff, you could definitely do worse. The range of quality on 3D Sonic qualities is, in this games saving grace, so vastly fucked varied of a god damn spectrum, if the game doesn’t have a subplot involving bestiality or it doesn’t feels like you’re playing some kind of demented proto-alpha build of a game, you’re doing quite well for what Sonic has to offer. So if you just want a goofy, fast-paced, mostly competent action platformer with a fun OST, buttrock in tow, Sonic Colors Ultimate is worth an afternoon of your time if you’ve got one to burn.

~Pashford

Speedrunning The Apocalypse

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.


Law is a matter of perspective

I was looking forward to doing a more comprehensive write up on my replay of the Resident Evil 3 remake, but time has not been on my side the last two days. I’m so crunched for it at the current moment, it feel like I have negative minutes at hand in order to do share my thoughts, which is beautifully ideal, obviously. Though the notion of even starting another game when I just started Echoes of Wisdom, and The Plucky Squire, and Cult of the Lamb, and the expansion of Elden Ring…etc.. seems like a self-defeating idea, I never claimed I was a smart man.


But I do know what love is

Plus, yesterday was September 28th, the day Jill Valentine staged her iconic escape from the destruction of Raccoon City, so starting a replay of RE3 felt appropriate. I won’t say I’ve made it an official tradition of doing so, but it has come up so often around this time a year, it has become something of a previously unrecognized habit of sorts. Playing the remake reminds me of a few brief points of what frustrated me about it vs…at least the Resident Evil 2 remake.


Which isn’t what you might think, though there is a heavy irony
in the RE2 remake pulling off stalker gameplay better than RE3…

Firstly, RE3 has no sense of decency in terms of how to pace events like the original, to the point where it feels like the game is attempting to speedrun itself. It feels like before the game even starts, it’s like: remember Brad Vickers? Well here he is and he’s already dead. Didn’t forget Nemesis, did you? Well he already punched you through a wall. You recall Carlos Oliveira, right? Too bad, because you both already have 12 children together and have been married 39 years. The RE3 remake has absolutely no sense of pacing, and it totally butchers the suspension of the survival horror involved, and the general vibe.


Not unlike a rigged game of Russian Roulette

Honestly, there was more I thought I was going to have time to discuss here, but the negative minutes I had to share here are already up. To be continued…

~Pashford