Ever Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight?

Coming in hot here at the last second.


Effortlessly channeling those 2025 vibes
through my creative endeavors

Just a short share today, but I’ve got to keep on keeping on with my challenge of writing everyday during the month of March. I thought I had remembered the date correctly for my one year anniversary of having started Elden Ring, but double checking my trophy history, it was actually the 2nd of March 2024 and not the third, so oopsie fucking daysie on that one. Good thing this wasn’t an anniversary involving an actual relationship, or I’d be in couch jail right about now. In a ridiculous twist of fate, in spite of a year of playing, I have in fact, not yet started a new game plus of the title, which is slightly mind boggling to me. Though I’ve finished the vanilla experience and the DLC, I am still cleaning up some content on my first playthrough, though I think I’m nearly finished sweeping up the last remnants of obnoxious pain in the ass trash that is still littered about.


Pictured: This bitch
Not pictured: The absolute audacity

I am about to start my quest to find the legendary equipment strewn about the Lands Between to finally acquire my platinum trophy, but I am tasked with besting what I believe to be the last boss left to beat in Elden Ring, which is the infamous Malenia, and all of her bloodrotting glory. I’m grossly over-leveled for the affair, having already gone through Shadow of the Erdtree before I even got to her, and with that in mind, I still didn’t down her my first play session, which is a testament to the wealthy dividends one may muster involving successfully managing the absolutely steamy piles of horseshit shenanigans she manages that I’ve heard so many prattle on about at this point.


A quick visual reference of what to expect when
encountering Malenia

In my defense, my first attempt was a half-hearted drop in the perverbial time bucket, so I’m not overly concerned about her becoming the same kind of roadblocking shit house like Radahn was at the end of Erdtree, given my pedigree at this stage in the game, so her phase 2 Poison Ivy cosplay looking ass is getting launched directly into oblivion in due time, me thinks. I imagine my new game plus will be right around the corner soon after, which is great, cause I may be able to power through this just fast enough to wrap up the platinum in time to play Elden Ring: Nightreign when it launches on May 30th, a title which is suppose to be a multiplayer focused time restricted roguelike remix of sorts using core mechanics from Elden Ring, which based on gameplay footage from the network test they did, is shaping up to be a May 30th, 2025 release worthy of excitement.

Cheers to future ass beatings.

~Pashford