How The Sausage Is Made

It’s fun getting into trouble!


It’s obvious no one at Milton Fucking Bradley ever played the
Outlast series, which I can assure you, is an example of a time it
is not fun getting into trouble…

Keeping up with my ridiculous self-imposed challenge of writing everyday has certainly been an endeavor, to say the least. The irony of writing about games that I’ve found was true in the past and remains true now is that the more time you dedicate to the practice of writing about games, the less time you have in actually playing any of them, which is such an obtuse thought it becomes itself dizzying in it’s very nature and rapidly more nauseating as one continues to process the idea. I take this moment now to point out the obvious truth that it isn’t a 1:1 process: I can’t just put an hour into playing a video game and out pops an hour of equivalently interesting writing ideas mind you, as if that were the case, I could write blog posts rivaling the girth and depth of The Silmarillion on the regz.


Fairly surprised this was the first image that came up when I
googled “Silmarillion Girth” just for shits and giggles

That’s where the creativity comes in, of course, and boy one is always crossing their fingers that juice will be worth the squeeze on any given day. I think there is something to be said of thinking about the machinations and context of the games themselves, rather than maybe just the idea of discussing the distilled elements of gameplay, as it comes off to me as the difference of gawking at a muscle car passing by vs discussing what’s under the hood. Stroking one’s metaphorical willy about the aesthetics of a souped up beef machine have their time and place, but you wouldn’t even have had a chance to wag your absurdist pickle at the beast on wheels had it not the power of what’s pumping under the hood to get it there.


Some engines more impressive than others

I’ve realized I should clarify: this is more of an exposition about how the sausage is made, not really a complaint about the meat at hand (really gotta get off this phallic word play roll). I do attempt to deliver beyond regurgitating headlines, mind you, though the real world enjoys trying to intervene in the creative process with things like “jobs” and “sleeping” which really fuck up my whole ebb and flow on the matter. To the point of just throwing headlines out all willy nilly just for the sake of it, I had no idea that Netflix was trying to get an inside horse into the world of gaming so bad, even going as far as to announce several new video game based adaptations they announced at one of their own events in the past day. I am completely indifferent to this news however, so trying to get myself into a creative tizzy about this revelation, or the one where Netflix offers dozens of games you can play on mobile devices if subscribed, leaves me utterly muted in response.


Far out, Netflix

And that’s the thing, I don’t mind going on about headlines when I’m really lit up with energy or feel incredibly impassioned about a particular piece I see making the rounds in gaming circles, but I am merely mortal, not everything is super enthralling or life changing news. I am always thrilled when the perfect storm coalesces, and both interesting idea meets a fervent mind to deliver on an awesome idea, but no one bats a thousand.


The face of a man who is familiar with what a poor batting
average looks like

I remember once recently when I wanted to come up with some kind of article idea involving playing a game, I tried booting up Pokémon Scarlet, and was reminded of why I never forced myself through the title, and that’s because the game is fucking rough to play. I know Game Freak wanted to go all Breath of the Wild on us, but Pokémon really didn’t need to do that, and it reflects poorly on the whole experience as a result. But obviously, I’m not going to want to play a game that is like that, which means I am not going to want to gather any more ideas on the title, and ultimately that entire piece was just surmised into a single sentence in this very paragraph, so so much for that fucking idea.


Truly the Dunsparce of gaming article ideas

I’m enjoying The Plucky Squire, which I was proud to get a preview up for on launch day, but as I had foreseen already as a problem I was going to run into by not getting the product early enough to play through, as this isn’t an official operation as you may have noticed, people already have reviews out. Playing through the whole game would take a hot minute anyways, so how much motivation or interest would be left for the final article seems non-existent

I throw my horns to you, Plucky Squire, even if I am unable
to afford you all of my time

I’m not done writing about Castlevania, mind you, as it regularly holds a firm grasp upon my spirit as an ephemeral source of interest for me, but as the more clever readers have already deduced, it is just another piece of collateral in my war against time, and fighting in the trenches of my everyday to do my best to combat it. I think it’s fitting this post follows me last one, which was all about discussing expectations involving the eventual launch of The Elder Scrolls VI, and how Bethesda should find comfort in the fact that the game will just have to go back to basics, and just be the most Elder Scrolls like it can be to end up making people happy. In essence: it’s success will lie within it being itself.

I think this write up is very much in the same spirit.

~Pashford

The Belmont’s Day Off: Long Weekend Edition

Occasionally, there are days where I just wake up and the first words that come out of my mouth as I stare at the ceiling are “god dammit”.


What I look like when I can’t fall asleep due to the memories
involved with beating the Water Temple from Ocarina of Time

The good news my friends: today is not one of those days. In a rare moment of committing to what we in the industry like to refer to as “a good fucking idea”, Konami stealth released the Castlevania: Dominus collection on August 27th, without any fanfare leading up to the titles launch day whatsoever. While this move has backfired in spectacular fashion in the gaming world in the past (See: The Sega Saturn launch), this circumstances surrounding the surprise release was met with nothing short of jubilation from both the gaming public and press alike, as we have been collectively waiting for the re-release of the DS trilogy of games for a long time.


The face of Castlevania fans the world
over when they heard the DS titles were
finally getting re-released

The reason Konami may have waited so long to let loose this collection of classic games is anyone’s guess, but I have a sneaking suspicion if you correlated the data of Konami’s success in the pachinko machine arena vs video game release schedule, you would see a not too surprising financial story of weary and woe, as Konami mostly gave up the ghost of having any value as a game company a long time ago. With the quality of the Dominus collection standing as the last time the Castlevania series was topical and relevant, see: 16 years ago, Castlevania may have represented the canary in the coalmine that not all was well in the land of Konami, as even outstanding titles like Dawn of Sorrow, Portrait of Ruin, and Order of Ecclesia weren’t even considered good enough to prevent the series from falling out of relevancy.


It would be like if the LOTR series fell into obscurity after the
movies released

I am only very slightly exaggerating in reference to the slow decline of the Konami gaming empire (in the West, at least) with that short synopsis, as the mix of their successful foray into the world of pachinko machines, combined with their complete lack of commitment in retaining talent circa 2010, while failing to maintain their big name gaming series is the stuff of nightmarish legend at this point. I will apologize after the fact at the complete lack of citation involving the history behind the collapse, as I don’t have much time right now so can’t be arsed to cobble together a hyperlinked timeline for you. One of the only reasons we likely even got the Dominus collection in our greasy little gaming hands was probably due in part to Nintendo and Netflix doing all of the heavy lifting and reminding people that Castlevania is still really fucking cool.


A Konami exec’s face while watching the Castlevania
anime on Netflix and thinking it would be an ideal
property to adapt to a video game series

I also wouldn’t be surprised if the Castlevania’s former series creative lead Koji Igarashi’s massive success with his kickstarted game Bloodstained, amongst the cornicopia of titles populating the metroidvania genre he helped to spawn, also helped to keep alive the spirit of the series he had to abandon, but I digress. This write up wasn’t suppose to be pissing on the memory of the failed and the fallen, but the first of a multipart retrospective involving the games in the Dominus collection. I chose to arbitrarily start with Portrait of Ruin, mostly due to the fact that I’ve played Dawn of Sorrow the most, and Order of Ecclesia is quite similar to what Bloodstained ended up being, so I feel as if I’ve spent the most time away from Portrait of Ruin, so let’s shoot the shit a little about what Portrait of Ruin has to offer.


Picture: slightly related

One of the more bizarre moments of interest with Portrait of Ruin was that based on how it was received overall upon release vs the other two DS titles that launched on the system, was that Portrait was more or less considered the lesser of the three. Don’t get me wrong, the game reviewed well and was placed on lists of acclaim left and right after launch, I think it’s more a telling dictation of just how strong the pedigree was for the DS titles across the board, with Dawn of Sorrow and Order of Ecclesia only making Portrait of Ruin pale in comparison to the level of quality they were bringing to the table.


Is Portrait of Ruin the Temple of Doom of the
Dominus Collection?

Building off of that point, I think that when you look at Dawn of Sorrow, the only detractions from people you ever really hear about the sequel are 1: the touch controls, and 2: the art direction. I think most people agree that while the DS certainly had it’s moments of innovation with utilizing the systems touch screens in a lot of amazing ways, the stuff they did with Dawn of Sorrow was needlessly tacked on bullshit to fill some ridiculous quota of showing off the systems capabilities. Whenever you change formula drastically enough to fundamentally upset the status quo enough that gamers start to turn against you as a result, you know yah dun goofed, which is essentially what happened with the touch screen based seal mechanic in Dawn of Sorrow.


They really sealed their fates with this
goofy gimmicky inclusion

The only other point of division for gamers with Dawn would be the people who lamented the lack of art done by infamous Castlevania illumni Ayami Kojima, who had helped to create some stellar art work for the series going all the way back to Symphony of the Night.


Dat Alucard, tho…
And as someone who pisses all over the idea of how derivative and bottom of the barrel crutching on basic anime stylization for one’s aesthetic can end up being, IGA’s decision to go that route to attract a younger demographic for the series based on the DS’ average age demographic was on point, as was thusly cemented way down the road after the fact.


Pictured: Trevor Belmont grumpy he looks so fashionable
within an anime format

I guess to summarize my last few thoughts in a more succinct manner; with even the small points of contention involved with Dawn of Sorrow as a follow up to Aria, involves the game still being a follow up to Aria, which was just so damn good, it didn’t matter if the title took the low road with anime aesthetic or some clunky touch screen gimmicks: Aria was essentially nearly flawless as a spiritual follow up to Symphony of the Night, and likely the Castlevania game people had been waiting on impatiently for six years to finally get to play. No offense to the earlier GBA titles, and my condolences to the N64 “games” (it was really like one game and then a re-release with extra content), but Dawn of Sorrow was the sequel to the phantom that had haunted the series since gamers had finally and excitedly worked their way through the inverted castle.


For people who don’t know, the inverted castle was infamous
in that in order to beat it, you had to turn your tv upside down
in order to play it correctly (holds back laughter)

Which is why I ultimately think Portrait of Ruin wasn’t seen as the next grand ascension for the series, as gamers had already been recently treated to a double helping of what were arguably near ideal follow ups to Symphony in the form of the Sorrow duology. Not surprisingly, Ecclesia would go to course correct following Portrait, again, not because the title was considered bad by any metric, but because IGA and his team realized the way forward with the series after having been inspired by their own ideas in incorporating the portraits the way they did, to create a feeling of a more robust, expansive world Castlevania largely hadn’t seen up to that point, with the series usually being lock step with the equivalent of a bottle episode setting in video game format.


Hell of a piece of real estate

Whew, fun run down on some aspects involving my retrospective on the DS titles thus far, even though I ironically failed to discuss Portrait of Ruin at any great length. Something to look forward to for part two, I suppose. Stay tuned.

~Pashford