Gaming Review: Rapid Fire

Don’t forget to slow down and smell the flowers.


Unless it’s this one. Run far away from this one.

Cannibalistic horticulture aside, my sentiment remains true, in encouraging individuals to slow down, take some time, and enjoy some self-reflection when one can. With that said, I’ve reached the end of another work week, and as always, I’m positively pooped. In pushing myself to rise to the occasion to meet the “quotas” set forth by creative challenges (I.E. write everyday consecutively for a month), I do tend to wear myself thin, but it is in response to feeling as if I’m simply not doing enough. The downside to this is that I rarely can find the time to do more long winded articles…or really anything aside from quick posits of wisdom or straight forward news poats, which is at least still affording me some practice in the realm of creative consistency. To wit; one of the ideas I’ve had kicking around in my head to break up some of the monotony of posting such straight forward affairs is to try my hand at a new feature called Rapid Fire, where I look back on the last week of articles, and insert a quick aside or addendum on my thoughts involving the games I’ve keyed about recently, and possibly add a little more context that I may have missed the first time around.


Context is key when discussing emotional reactions,
as sometimes you’ll be lucky enough to live in ignorance

With that said, let’s get to rapid fire:

-My write up Pokémon Disaster is a perfect distillation of what happens more often then not here on Active Time Event: working with what you got in the time you have. The initial idea was to finally sit down and watch the Pokémon Presents video Nintendo posted nearly a month ago, and dictate upon it. Mind you, the video is only twenty minutes long, and I still haven’t found the time to sit down and watch the fucking thing through to generate ideas from with which to coax an article out of…but I still wanted to write about Pokémon and didn’t have much time to do so, ergo, the Pokémon disaster occured.


Not that one

– My Words of Wisdom: Non-Simulated Thinking is another feature I came up with to have my cake and eat it too. I wanted to mostly relax on my first “weekend” day, but I still wanted to keep up with a writing schedule, so some quick posit was the way to go. I still try not to skimp on quality of course, so the idea always has to have a strong premise. I think I could have perhaps added more reference points involving how to go about engaging with tech via video games through the use of critical thinking, or wax philosophical about how mindfulness is the way to help cut through the bullshit of algorithmic tendencies, but all things in hindsight…life remains something that can only be understood backwards but lived forwards.

– The Casual Delirium of Video Games: Tuesday Edition ended up being a Frankenstein post, as I had a bunch of disparate ideas, but once again, not enough time to really dive into them all, so a monster was thusly born. Todd Howard’s thoughts on Doom and Mario’s impact on games is on point, and having even met the game in real life, he is a delightful individual with excellent insights into the industry, it’s just a shame he has helped to make himself into a meme with all of his wildly over promising ideas regarding Bethesda games.


Depending on who you talk to, of course

–Video Game Workers Unite! was a rare moment of positivity on ATE, which is a currency I don’t often trade in, but the gaming industry has been in a rough spot for a hot minute, so giving credit where credit is due for those who make the magic is definitely worth any amount of time. Writing about a more relatively important topic of note within the standards of the industry, especially involving the importance of unionizing and workers rights in general, also yields to the notion of more authentic journalistic integrity, a reality of which both gaming journalists and freelance writers don’t get a chance to experience in liu of just needing to act the role of hype man while drowning in a sea of enthusiast press that is not totally dissimilar to just straight up hawking products or being low key advertisers. A cold hard fact that I’m guessing many companies take advantage of with glee, in seeing the rise of influencers amidst the journalists and freelancers, the former of which regularly showcase they have absolutely no scruples whoring themselves out for a cheap, greasy paycheck while happily dropping any pretense they have standards or integrity whatsoever.

–Doom & Animal Crossing 4Evaz!!1<3, most definitely feels like the likeliest candidate for softball article if there was one this week, but I am madly endeared to both series, and it was a unique dual double-birthday, so worthy of the amorous celebration I showered both with. I also very likely could have easily made the article four times the length and not broken a sweat in the matter, but time was once again, not on my side. There’s actually been a shit ton of news about Doom: The Dark Ages I likely will follow up on, and I am guessing Nintendo’s Switch 2 first look on April 2nd has a great chance of showcasing more about the next Animal Crossing, so expect ample fixation on both series moving forward.


Always a feel good blast with these two

–The Last Laugh is more well deserved credit, by citing Balatro’s success at the 2025 GDCA, which continues to be representative of the notion I still give time to games that I’m not even a massive fan of. Even though I’m still playing Balatro, to attempt to understand the title as much as I can before moving on, one has to realize that even with ultra-eclectic tastes, one is just not going to like every experience under the sun. Balatro continues to remind me that I do ironically spend more time with games I don’t enjoy that much or perhaps don’t fully understand, just to get a better grasp on just why that is before just shrugging my shoulders and giving up, so there’s something admirable left to speak to, at least.

–Individualistic Collectivism was yesterdays post about the Katamari creators (Keita Takahashi) new game, To a T. There was a lot more to the interview that Game*Spark hosted and Automaton translated that I didn’t get to, one point of which involved the game’s narrative having roots in the realities of bullying, which was Takahashi’s way of attempting to humanize the story, and find connective issue of storytelling with a gaming public at large, and a topic that is taken as so mundane and everyday, most games would happily brush over it in favor for some epic cosmic battle. Nice to see in a space that continues to need to push itself to be relatable, and or at least one that still needs to strive to find a more humanistic approach, To A T is dojng so, and is not just lazily crutching on low-brow horndog schlock being shit out by a machine that regularly reguritqtes B-movie grade wank material for 16 year old minded boys.

–Gaming Review: Rapid Fire is a current work in progress. Fingers crossed it turns out well.

As always, time is against me, but it’s been fun keeping it real. That’s all…go forth and rock.

~Pashford

The Last Laugh

Life is a highway…


Use your fucking turn signal and make sure to stay
in your own god damn lane

A bit of a strained metaphor on that attempt at positing some wisdom, but I think there’s still a salvageable message somewhere in there. Shifting gears here, as someone who spends most of his day centered around gaming, whether it be thinking, reading, writing, playing…I still have trouble keeping up with most of the industry. I’m not sure if I’m within my rational means to accuse this hobby of being either a younger man’s game, or a medium that demands one has a lot of capital in order to enjoy what is on offer, but I definitely question who, outside of people employed within the industry, don’t feel utterly lost in the shuffle in attempting to keep up with the reality of the everyday of video gaming. To wit: I keep forgetting we are deep in the midst of award season, and no matter where I look, the majority of the titles nominated for any given award shindig are ones I haven’t even played yet, and I’m getting down on games everyday.


Mostly figuratively now a days, but engagement is engagement

This particular award ceremony was the 2025 Game Developers Choice Awards, so a bunch of the industry’s devs got together and gave their two cents on which titles were the cream of the crop. As previously mentioned, even though I am somewhat familiar with the games discussed, the fact of the matter is I haven’t even played most of them, which leaves me scratching my head as to what I was doing all of 2024, but I digress. I did (and am still) playing Balatro, which dominated the award ceremony, by taking home not only Best Debut, Best Design, and Innovation Award, but also claimed the top prize by winning Game of the Year.


The Joker steals the show again, but what else is new?

What I find maddening about this is what I must be missing about Balatro, cause it’s very obviously some key element that makes the entire experience so heavily praised, so what I’m not “getting” about the little card game that could baffles me. As I recently addressed in an article, the game doesn’t seem to be overly compelling to me as I sift through it’s simplicity and try to understand what it has to offer outside of some slightly spruced remixing of what appears to be a basic card game prominently featuring The Joker cards as strategic fulcrums that help win the day.This really could be a moment of different strokes for different folks, with my penchant for being totally repelled by anything even remotely resembling a table top game front in center. Whatever “it” factor that Balatro possesses that seems to elude me aside, game of the year is mighty impressive, so congrats to the Balatro devs for what they accomplished and for being recognized for their work. I’ll continue to contend with the title to see if I can make heads or tails of the experience, but uh…I might just not be of popular opinion on this one, even if obvious quality is staring me right in the face.


What I feel like when attempting to analyze what
makes Balatro so Balatro-y

~Pashford

Doom & Animal Crossing 4Evaz!!1<3

Happy 5th Anniversary you two. Cheers to many more celebrations including both your series.


A rare moment where Isabelle gets a breather from
her hellish schedule to hang with Doomguy. He loves
shooting the shit

Ass-slappingly un-fucking-real that it’s already been five years since these two games launched in what’s felt like a blink of an eye. Even more wild when you consider these games not only launched on this very day five years ago, but it was right about that time in the U.S that the lockdown was announced due to Covid-19. In the before times…the long long ago.


Everyone had to be socially distanced more than
six pixels apart back then

Definitely in large part due to the pandemic, but not solely so, these games thrived. Mind you, many (including myself) have been humble fans of both since there relative inceptions (decades for either at this point), but when one has little else to do but fear the plague, sitting down to find some peace and quiet with a little bit of cozy comfort gaming is always an easy call.


Pictured: A piece of quiet(ening)

Even though I moved on from Doom: Eternal sooner than New Horizons, I still play both series as a duology back to back daily, having just finished doing so in the last ten minutes. There is technically still stuff for me to do in AC, even after five years (see the egregiously paced Nook Miles goals as to why), and there are nearly endless number of Doom WADs in the original games to enjoy at this point (custom level packs made by fans), so that I technically *still* have something new to look forward to, which is super groovy. One wouldn’t necessarily think that these two series would have forged such an unlikely bond between fandoms, but I think it is a rare moment that highlights how multi-layered gamers can be. There are many out there who love to get down on both the cozy and the chaotic, and once they’re done mowing down hordes of the demonic, enjoy hosing down and tending to some relaxing horticulture in their well kept gardens.


What most peoples Animal Crossing islands look
like when they finally log back in after time away

Both are games that share an under representation here on ATE, though they find themselves within a grouping of titles I so regularly and often play, alongside Smash Bros, Mario Kart, Elden Ring, that I’m not sure if I avoid talking about them due to the notion they feel so familiar and therefore so inane in consideration, or that everyone and their mother discusses them due to their popularity, and I feel as if I just truly have nothing to add to that conversation. I guess at least in terms of Animal Crossing, there has been no new news on the game or a follow up in some time. Nintendo is set to go into greater detail about the Switch 2 come April 2nd, and I’ll be amazed if they don’t showcase something from the next AC, and especially given the turn around time they’ve had on the last title, I’ll be even more amazed if they don’t announce an end of year release date.


Come on Nintendo, let’s both enjoy the sweet sound
of “bells” ringing come the holiday season…

There’s always news on the Doom front of course, as the original game continues to be ported to nearly every conceivable platform and device known to man, though I’m sure most are deadlocked on the release date for Doom: The Dark Ages, which is the direct sequel to Doom: Eternal, and set to launch on May 15th. Thinking about it, I’m a bit dumbfounded at myself for not having discussed the fairly constant stream of news regarding the title on ATE as of late, but the schedule has jammed up on my end by an almost complete lack of free time. C’est la vie. I’m going to pretend for a second that my schedule is somehow magically going to open up at some point in the next 24 hours, where then I will be struck by both a creative fervor, and somehow (insanely so) stumble onto a bunch of free time into which I may do a more in-depth follow up post of some kind detailing what I love about both series, and or even bring more focus unto the news and or culture involving both magnificent stable of games…but the devils in the details, and if we’re going by the mess left by Doomguy on a regular basis, those details have been blasted all over the god damned walls of the underworld.



What the devil must look like every time he gets
the news Doomguy has breached the walls of Hell

~Pashford

Sparkling Brilliance Pierces The Darkness

Always live your best life.


To exist is the greatest rebellion

Unless your best life involves being an absolute dick hole to others, in which case, obviously don’t. Kirby doesn’t qualify for that of course, even if he did one time rage through the entirety of Dreamland to mistakenly beat the shit out of an innocent King Dedede for whom he mistakenly assumed had stolen his food at the beginning of Squeak Squad. To be fair, Dedede has *literally* stolen all the food in Dreamland before, so can you really blame Kirby for wrongly assuming? Besides…


This bastard is fucking crazy

Out of all the games I’ve been playing that I’ve mentioned recently, I think one that continually eludes a name drop from me is Ender Magnolia (Switch, Xbox, PlayStation, PC), in all of it’s Metroidvania glory. Which may be the reason I in fact, haven’t gone on more about it, as the title sits in a genre of video game that is a comfortably filled niche at this point, with a title in the same vein coming out basically every other month at this point. Though, the absence of the title on ATE seems a disservice to the game itself, as even though it is well tread territory, Ender Magnolia knows how to hit all the right notes when revisitng a familiar feeling experience


Ender Magnolia has big Return to Oz vibes…somehow.

Aside from the experience sharing aesthetic similarities to Nier Automata, and having the polished mechanical design reminiscent of Hollow Knight, the game is vibe-central to a capital T, and feels like the virtual embodiment of a lofi playlist. Don’t get me wrong, the game has an earned sense of difficulty about it without being unfair, so it’s no walk in the park mind you, but I do feel a quaint sense of belonging every time I jump back in to enjoy the dismay and misery that come with the dark and brooding setting that permeates it’s world. An atmospheric feat most games rarely pull off, so massive props to Ender Magnolia for making the whole affair seem so effortlessly macabre in it’s playful execution.


Total Return to Oz vibes

…and when the well of human kindness has been desecrated by the corrupt sovereign, the void that remains will have to be refilled by the tears of empathy spared by those still brave enough to feel.

~Pashford

Words of Wisdom: Scheduling Sanity

As others have already acknowledged, 2025 is looking to be crammed full of awesomeness.


Not pictured: The insomnia this release schedule
will induce

Just a quick post today, as I’ve found if I don’t force myself into enjoying some more leisurely moments in my busy week, my enthusiasm levels go directly into the shitter. Which bring me to my words of wisdom that I share with you now: make sure to have a sane schedule for the sake of your own mental health. Try not to over stuff your days with an absolutely insane roster of activities to get to, and to make sure your eyes aren’t bigger than your schedule is open, as trying to stuff every minute of everyday with some thing to do, gaming or otherwise, is a sure fire way to burn yourself out without even trying. While the gaming universe is usually chock full of enjoyment to be had, make sure to schedule in some downtime for yourself on a regular basis, lest you drown in a sea of strained productivity, and end up dooming yourself to woofing down a big old bowl of regretti speghetti.

Happy gaming.
~Pashford

Good Pipe in the Moonlight

We often seek counsel from those whose advice we subconsciously know we’d prefer.


Probably goes a long way in explaining why my
love of Conker and my general life philosophies are
in equal parts aligned and most certainly fucking
absurd

I’m sure examining that axiom more deeply is worthy of continued reflection, and hell, may even be worthy of it’s own article, but like most points I make on ATE, I refuse to elaborate on them in any satisfying or timely manner. Within that spirit, I take this moment now to mention I’m glad I finally got to start writing my series about Rare Replay, as it’s been on the brain for awhile. Rare as a company has delivered a treasure trove of material over the years, so that single compilation alone will be an absolute wellspring of enjoyable content to wax philosophical upon, as the game is filled to the brim with top notch content, and one can’t even really go wrong with nearly any title in the bunch.


Nearly

More on that down the road, and one we are even more immediately detouring from than I initially planned on, as today I was continuing to eye (in a matter of speaking) a satellite of related interests involving Rare’s offerings, but I stumbled upon the confirmation of a random oddity that turned out not to be a fevered dream after all. In celebration of Mar10 Day, (March 10th), Nintendo usually puts a spotlight on their favorite cash cow, in which to milk him further of his sweet capitalistic juices. In spite of my cynical mention of the whole affair, the events year in and year out usually do take the form of some fun events, whether they be in-game what-have-yous, or legitimate celebrations involving easter egg hunts that can score one some sweet swag. Though I’m not yet familiar with all of Nintendo’s machinations in reference to festivities entailing the celebration of Mario Day this year, I do know of one, which is starting today in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, and one that can score you some sweet virtual currency that can be used for real life rewards***.


***Dead CEO’s not included

If you log into MK8D, Nintendo has up a special tournament dedicated specifically for a special community event in honor of Mario Day, the event running from today through the 17th in honor of the mustachioed bastard, and the goal is for the collective conglomerate of MK players to race an accumulative one million laps within that time frame. If achieved, every racer who helped out will receive 310 platinum points, which can be redeemed for all sorts of awesome things. Of course, any one player only needs to finish a single lap to contribute towards the grand total, but any laps the player races in that time will be added to the bottom line. Obviously, one will need Nintendo online and a My Nintendo account to claim the coins, *and* be sure to specifically enter the code 1152-2501-4827 under the tournaments tabs in MK8D in order to log the laps, but with all the said, if you burn some rubber in honor of the old plumber’s 40th anniversary, you will reap rewards thusly.


Possibly a blue shell enema in the process, but
at least it’s a worthwhile pain in the ass

Drift on my little koopas.

~Pashford

The Belmont’s Day Off: Temporally Disturbed Boys

Let’s do the time warp again…


Never a bad time to let your freak flag fly high

Doing two posts today, because I totally failed to get one up yesterday, hence the timey-wimeyness of this one. I’m still on the hook for writing a post everyday for March, and the whole point of a challenge is it’s possible to fail said challenge, or else there is no risk, no reward. However, strength of character can be found in picking oneself up after falling and soldiering on, hence the two posts. I second guessed myself yesterday, and changed my own mind three times about what I was briefly going to discuss, before falling asleep at my god damned keyboard…let it not be said analysis paralysis is often the bane of the creative existence. With that said, I’ve decided to land on some familiar territory after saying “fuck it”, “axing the idea of reason” and just going “full rock and roll” with it.


Which can have disastrous results, mind you

Which is where Vampire Survivors comes in (?!?), which is described by the community in a myriad of ways, and seems to be a source of tension in some circles. From a casual browsing on the subject, no one has yet to refer to it as an “auto-shooter”, which feels like a lexical gap I’m filling, which in my world, truly is as sexy as it sounds. It is an action game through and through, and some have landed on “idle” game due to certain tendencies the game has, others a roguelike for others….it is an action game with rpg elements at the very least, so hopefully you have gained some notion of the matter. In good ol’ ATE fashion, Vampire Survivors is no way, shape, or form topical, having come out years ago, but I write about what I play, and sometimes I don’t get to games very immediately. Vampire Suvivors has done well for itself, both critically and commercially speaking, and has had a stream of additional content come down it’s pipeline, including an “Ode to Castlevania” which debuted as recently as October 2024, so the game is still cash money by most accounts.


The Belmont’s failing to show up this time was
my bad: no pay, no play, after all.

I ironically downloaded the demo for the game on the Switch around the same time in excitement for the Castlevania DLC, which I still have not even downloaded yet, but I keep switching platforms in which to play Vampire Suvivors, having also nabbed the title for the PS4 and now playing it on the Series X, so I can’t seem to make up my mind involving how I want to enjoy the game. I suppose the silver lining for the experience given this evidence is that at least I do enjoy the game, perhaps for it’s ridiculous simplicity.
Being an “auto-shooter”, you really only have to move your character around the play screen: no buttons needed. You needn’t worry about controlling anything else aside from movement, as projectiles automatically get fired, based on level, items acquired etc. Any one playthrough is based on a time limit (30 minutes), and it will take the player awhile of basic canoodling through the levels before they’re even strong enough to last that long, as the game is fairly serious about killing you as quickly as possible.

You can’t outrun death.


[SIC] Nevermind

Vampire Survivors is kind of your ideal dopamine gaming, if you will, with a penchant for inspiring that “just one more run” mentality, as it always feels like you can do a little better, and it feels great when you’re in the middle of a good run where you’re just mowing down hordes of enemies. I feel as if the game works the best on touch screens, per my mention of its extraordinarily simplistic nature, but I’ve been more than happy with the game on every console. Considering how cheap the game normally is, even when it’s not on sale, ease of accessibility, and inherently engaging nature, I think most would do well to give a shot.


Or a stab…whirl…you’ll have a blast, if we are going by
weapon selection availability, anyways.

(Not the first time I’ve downloaded a game based on the promise of cameos from another series that I ended up not getting to initially, and I’m guessing it won’t be the last.)

~Pashford

Ever Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight?

Coming in hot here at the last second.


Effortlessly channeling those 2025 vibes
through my creative endeavors

Just a short share today, but I’ve got to keep on keeping on with my challenge of writing everyday during the month of March. I thought I had remembered the date correctly for my one year anniversary of having started Elden Ring, but double checking my trophy history, it was actually the 2nd of March 2024 and not the third, so oopsie fucking daysie on that one. Good thing this wasn’t an anniversary involving an actual relationship, or I’d be in couch jail right about now. In a ridiculous twist of fate, in spite of a year of playing, I have in fact, not yet started a new game plus of the title, which is slightly mind boggling to me. Though I’ve finished the vanilla experience and the DLC, I am still cleaning up some content on my first playthrough, though I think I’m nearly finished sweeping up the last remnants of obnoxious pain in the ass trash that is still littered about.


Pictured: This bitch
Not pictured: The absolute audacity

I am about to start my quest to find the legendary equipment strewn about the Lands Between to finally acquire my platinum trophy, but I am tasked with besting what I believe to be the last boss left to beat in Elden Ring, which is the infamous Malenia, and all of her bloodrotting glory. I’m grossly over-leveled for the affair, having already gone through Shadow of the Erdtree before I even got to her, and with that in mind, I still didn’t down her my first play session, which is a testament to the wealthy dividends one may muster involving successfully managing the absolutely steamy piles of horseshit shenanigans she manages that I’ve heard so many prattle on about at this point.


A quick visual reference of what to expect when
encountering Malenia

In my defense, my first attempt was a half-hearted drop in the perverbial time bucket, so I’m not overly concerned about her becoming the same kind of roadblocking shit house like Radahn was at the end of Erdtree, given my pedigree at this stage in the game, so her phase 2 Poison Ivy cosplay looking ass is getting launched directly into oblivion in due time, me thinks. I imagine my new game plus will be right around the corner soon after, which is great, cause I may be able to power through this just fast enough to wrap up the platinum in time to play Elden Ring: Nightreign when it launches on May 30th, a title which is suppose to be a multiplayer focused time restricted roguelike remix of sorts using core mechanics from Elden Ring, which based on gameplay footage from the network test they did, is shaping up to be a May 30th, 2025 release worthy of excitement.

Cheers to future ass beatings.

~Pashford

Inanity, thy name is video games

The struggle is real.


Who I’m envisioning as the mascot for 2025

At least, it feels real in regards to not just the complete insanity that 2025 has already launched with, but keeping up with the craziness enough with the same kind of “DON’T PANIC” vibes I advocate for on the regular. That obviously complicates my day to day, including finding time to sit my ass down and write with any regularity whatsoever. I always desire to have more fleshed out ideas for articles in this space, to elevate Active Time Event above just another gaming blog, but alas, to quote a prescient prophet of our cosmic time, if wishes were horses, we’d all be eating steak. With all of that said, I feel as if in a constant state of flux truth be told, in always feeling as if I need to “start again”, as if reigniting the fires of creativity in some kind of conceptual grand gesture to imbue my meager efforts with some well needed feelings of gravitas to frame the whole affair with. Keeping that in mind, I’m not quite sure the number of times I’m essentially going to refer to my own writing endeavors as a “soft reboot“, but I’m speculating the number will indeed be too many, and simultaneously, not enough at the same time. I did make my return to the writing space about this time last year, and while the first half of the year dragged a bit in terms of consistent content, the couple of pieces I did get out were decent pieces of dynamite, setting the stage for a second half of the year resulting in a wild stream of content every day for months on end. A stream of content I may add which eventually ended in November for, uh, tragically disappointing reasons many of you were confronted with as well.


November 5th forced me into doing a perpetual Steve Harvey face for the rest of the year, ngl.

As I made mention recently, this time of year is always devastating for me, as both seasonal depression and related moments of destructive tendencies that are contingent on said moods tend to drag me down to the depths of despair and debauchery in the most nefarious of ways. In those ever present and unrelenting times of melancholic torture that attempt to drown me in chaotic malaise, I seem to catch a serious case of the fuck its I just cannot shake, and the lack of motivation and complete abandonment of what I view as my duties that follows is one of absolutely brutal and insurmountable malcontent that is nearly unrivaled in bloodshed and misery.


Nearly unrivaled

That’s kind of the abhorrently abysmal hole I’m still attempting to crawl out of, on some metaphorically psychological level at least, but this year has been one of the most promising springboards of regeneration coming from a point of stability in recent memory. I’ve at least maintained a decent day to day of gaming and an ounce of respectability in terms of writing about them, far more so than basically any point around the same time in the last 7 years combined in retrospect, which is worth saying. Perspective is everything, and if you’re use to test flights ending with the entire vehicle engulfed in flames and crashing into a side of a mountain, merely having a rough landing where a wing gets bent or a wheel falls off should be marked on paper as a successfully executed colossal undertaking.


Someone made a PS2 about similar subject matter
if my memory isn’t betraying me…

So yeah. Still enjoying my new Xbox Series X, still don’t have a PS5 (work in progress), still somehow enjoying games on my launch Switch, a system which is in extraordinarily dire stakes, with the back cracked in half, the poor damn thing randomly vibrating, and on it’s fifth set of joycons mind you, but still trucking non the less. I somehow still haven’t beaten Echoes of Wisdom, in spite of the title being both a Zelda game and getting in weekly play sessions on the regs, but I’m always enjoying about 7 games at any given moment, so playthroughs tend to take a second. I’m also schmoozing the competitive Smash scene and admiring Animal Crossing up close and person everyday, but I don’t have much in the way of interesting ideas floating around about either at any given moment. This could be do to the notion either feels like an old relationship of some kind, where it’s become more of a way of the everyday then a conscious effort, akin to the nutrients vicariously but unconsciously absorbed that keeps one breathing. A lack of inspiration involving writing ideas could also be predicated on that notion I just know to stay in my lane and realize I’m not within the authority of exterior design to speak with any gravitas on the matter, or wish to give some succulent trade secrets of the Smashing persuasion, but I hold my tongue appropriately when I feel as if nothing of value can be imparted to ye lucky crew of readers and onlookers alike. I suppose I’ll dig deep and attempt to offer insight on both Smash and AC simultaneously for you now.


Love what they’ve done with their village layout. They
have trees and everything. Also, Smash Protip: Don’t
fall off the edge.

See? Rubbish.

I’m continuing to give Warhammer 40k: Space Marine 2 a shot, even though I feel as if I know me and the game have no real shot of longevity together. The campaign was fine enough, though the multiplayer does feel like it lacks a certain crisp quality involving that bespoke 30 seconds of fun (of Halo legend) needed for any gaming experience to stay relevant for long in this hyper competitive market this day and age. However, I muster the courage to continue my college effort in my affairs with the title, giggling still as I play, watching the big bologna men run hither and thither doing big bologna men like things whenever I play Space Marine 2, wondering who in their right mind takes any of this seriously, but that may be one of the only things keeping me invested in my bologna man space dystopia adventures, so it’s really the small things that count.


A screenshot of one of my more intense
matches playing Warhammer 40k: Space Marine 2.

I did also finish getting all the achievements for Castlevania, Order of Ecclesia, the final cheevo involving beating Albus mode, which is just where you go back through with an optional character and rebeat the campaign with an unlockable character after the credits roll, in the memorable style of Symphony of the Night. I do chuckle thinking about the comparative nature of Albus as a character vs others in the series, as while he is relevant to the main story of Ecclesia, he is essentially a dude with a gun in a story involving legendary vampire hunters and demonic entities born of myth and fury. Still, Dracula still has a mouth that one can fire bullets into, which contributes in meaningful ways to dislocating his ass from this reality and then launching his bastard ass directly into hell with relative fucking gusto.


Pictured: a conceptual representation of Any Castlevania
progatonist by the end of their respective game. Not pictured:
Dracula’s immense frustration with being evicted by the
Belmonts every god damn century

On the PS4, I’m largely just focused on Elden Ring, having finished the DLC Shadow of the Erdtree about a month ago. I maintain a pride in having played through both the vanilla portion of the game and the DLC without having used any external help whatsoever, be it guides, videos, walkthroughs etc, and even pushed myself not to summon any player help to fight any of the bosses, which I consider to be a stubbornly bullheaded endeavor of herculean proportions that I’m happy to have seen to it’s bitter end. Though the playthrough of both the title and it’s add-on did put things into a stark perspective, and that is I can’t sacrifice a year of my life to a single game all of the time, as it just simply isn’t sustainable. I realize not every experience is going to be as demanding as a souls-like is, but the truth remains that in this day and age of hyper busyness, combined with a ridiculous slate of games coming down the pipeline, on top of my general desire to have hobbies and passions outside of gaming, I’m trying to remind myself it’s really okay to ask for help and or take a shortcut every now and again, or else one would surely get consumed by the madness of struggle, and drown in the endless sea of everyday inanity in a moment’s notice.

~Pashford

Raw Dogging the Rough Cut

This photo captures the essence of self-deprecation
involving my sales pitch of this post, but I promise
you the vibes are at least twice as funny and four
times less shitty in execution

In reference to my visual sarcastic aside above, I kept putting off a similarly slapdash attempt at a return to proper writing (about video games) for arbitrary reasons, though I imagine unless I had been kidnapped by a traveling dance theater to perform for them due to their outlandish threats involving being sent to actual hell before I die, outside of that obviously reasonably likely scenario, just about any other reason for a mood being spoiled thus halting the creative process would come off as arbitrary.


Like when family get togethers really spoil the holidays,
for example.

The joke would be on that ill-fated group of stylishly groovy kidnappers regardless, as December does represent a kind of personal hell for me every year, though I refuse to elaborate within any serious context as to why. I do attempt to keep this first and foremost about gaming after all, and the reasons I reference fall far outside the boundaries of the virtual. Now that it is almost February, and I’m in a much better place overall, I will eschew the notion of waiting for my first piece of writing, “the return” if you will, to be some grandiose affair or some amazingly well thought out narrative or brilliant deconstruction of the industry or some title I’ve recently beaten. I’m just going to casually riff about games in general for a bit, if that’s okay.


Just the average Pash like creative noodling for
your idle entertainment, just like old times

I recently gifted myself an Xbox Series X for X-mas, not that I even care about celebrating the event in any serious way, but I’ve been attempting to curtail my more Grinchly demeanor in many small, celebratory fashions to attempt to hold back the cynical tide that washes over me. In a twist of unintentional spiteful reinforcement of my complete apathy towards Christmas itself, I did in fact not even open the damn thing on the day of, and even waited till the New Year to do anything with it. While I have been thoroughly enjoying my experience with said system, as I have always been an advocate of any major platform within the realm as someone who identifies as platform agnostic, the series X is by and far the least substantial jump from one generation to another I have ever seen. It makes sense on some level, as why fix what’s not broken, as the UI for the Xbox family has always been mostly functional, so keep the ecosystem similar, right?

Fair enough, though I do think this among many factors indicative we, as a collective, are starting to come to a head here in terms of sheer innovation for consoles moving forward, and I’m not just picking on Microsoft here. Having seen the PS5 UI in action, and at least glimpsing the very “same-ish” nature that the Switch 2 is bringing to the table, I think the day of the truly new and the innovative, in terms of pure individualized ingenuity, is likely behind us at this point, for many reasons I think is worthy of a much longer winded, well constructed post on the matter, so I’ll save elaborating on that thought for another time.


An example of a well constructed post

The game I chose to be my “launch title” was Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine 2, and truth be told, while the experience has been fun, I’m kind of shocked that this console is already four years into it’s lifespan and this is the supposed peak that we’ve hit with it thus far. Like, yes, I realize it runs at a high frame rate while stable, with hi-res textures and a shit ton of enemies on screen moving around, but the fact that it comes off as kind of a derivative Gears of War third person action romp comes off as a little underwhelming. Much like the Series X; yes, its fun and I’m enjoying myself quite a bit, but I certainly wouldn’t advocate to anyone to rush out and drop several hundred dollars on picking up the new Xbox offering or upgrading their PC just to enjoy this. Both feel like warm greetings to someone who hasn’t just arrived, but is “already there”, if that makes any sense. I know any stans of either MS or 40k are probably just vomiting blood at this point due to my perceived heresy in having reserved expectations about consumer products I interact with instead of trying to be the next big shill in the content creator space, but I didn’t start writing about games to blow smoke up the ass of either developers or fandoms while giving them a reach around with every prevailing thought I have regarding their favorite hobby/industry of choice.


I did not get into this line of work cause
I enjoy gargling wieners mind you

However, one is lucky enough once in a great while to enjoy a come hither experience that runs parallel to a gratifying sexual release, which is where my mention of downloading the Castlevania: Dominus Collection comes in. This would in fact be a double dip, but this is one media allegiance I don’t mind getting undressed for, as we normally have no problem having quite the sexy time together. That is of course, when Konami isn’t being a bunch of shit heels cause they’re too busy putting out low-grade pachinko machines for horny middle aged Japanese business men, and doesn’t leave me high and dry by sitting around with their thumbs up their stubborn asses for a better part of a decade doing absolutely fuck all while Nintendo and Netflix do all the heavy lifting in reminding people how awesome Castlevania is.


So awesome

Good thing I did download it, too, as Warhammer took an astonishing 11 hours to install on day one, and I desperately wanted to actually use my Series X for something on January 1st aside from using it as one of the most gloriously excessive paperweights of all time. Since I had recently just finished Portrait of Ruin on the Switch, and I had not touched Order of Ecclesia since it’s days on the DS, the choice was obvious (sorry Dawn of Sorrow). Such a damn good game that helped to set the ground work for what would become it’s marvelous spiritual successor Bloodstained. If nothing else, I praise OoE for it’s mindful editorialization, as the pacing is par excellence. I mean, everything is about as Castlevania-ey as it gets, so the game is a complete package, which goes on to help further showcase the the mind numbing, head scratching direction Konami would travel forward with after a successful series of three top notch titles on the DS, by going the Lord of Shadows route immediately following, soon after diverting into complete obscurity for the series in total.


Seen here: Konami helping to lay the ground work for
the eventual shift into focusing on their pachinko machine
machinations

Game pass has been sorely missed, and for all of the very reasons I love it, I also ironically can’t really utilize it. The value involving the content available with the sheer number of titles is astronomical, and definitely helps to continue to set the tone for what most platforms should have moving forward, but my problem is time, not access. To wit: I happily picked up Rare Replay once again after so long away, to continue my long and arduous trek to get the end all be all equivalent of a “soft” 100% of the title by finally acquiring the achievement “Stamper Brothers Forever”, which is essentially mastering like, 30 games. I double checked, and come this August, it will have been a decade since I started this insane quest, and I do not plan to slow down any time soon. Though, referencing my point about time being my problem, not access, outside of the last couple years where I was in a purgatory of sorts in a myriad of ways that prevented me from having an Xbox full stop, time is not on my side when considering the excessive standards, beefier offerings and ridiculously overstuffed with content that modern day gaming represents.


Surely, we must stop and ponder what might be
considered too much of a good thing?

I have many more thoughts to share, and even ones mentioned here deserve far grander elaborations, but this is my first post in months, so I’m going to give myself a Pash on the back and let this small victory breath for a moment while I muse what and or how I may continue to write with consistency in the near future.

Till next we meet…


~Pashford