Bait and Switch (2)

There is truth in advertising, they say.


There can also be some underhanded, limp dick
cryptic ass bullshit involved in advertising, as well

Not so much so was the case with Nintendo’s reveal of the Switch 2 earlier today, as they went on at lengths about their new console…and now that Nintendo has done their first in-depth look at the Switch 2, and featured a huge information blow out involving their next console in all of it’s tantalizing glory, I delightfully take a satisfying moment in providing a huge breakdown of just what Nintendo showcased about the Switch 2, in all of it’s delightful glory.

…is what I’d love to be saying. Very unfortunately, due to how my schedule ended up playing out today, I have nearly no time to do any kind of deep dive whatsoever on what Nintendo did showcase today about their next console, the Switch 2, but I can mention a couple of quick details considering the magnitude level of news the event represents.

The two big details, being release date and price, are June 5th respectively, and the price tag, which interestingly enough, was not even showcased during the reveal itself but only after the fact, is looking to be about $450 USD, which I think ended up being the mid point sweet spot between the optimistic low-ballers and the cynical doubters of what the price point of the console was likely to be. Which, to that point, I think Nintendo probably opted not to advertise front and center what the price point would be, due to the number not exactly screaming “good value” within the earshot to the casual audience, while maintaining a relatively consistent historical precedent of Nintendo holding firm on not selling consoles at a major loss. This is all the while dealing with the fallout of very unfortunate but seriously relevant real world economic issues that many tech companies will be facing the rambunctiously negative ramifications of the foreseeable future, with no one who has any real idea of just how positively likely that financial situation will buff out in an agreeable way down the road.


Anyone? Bueller?

One more damning aspect of the whole package is that Nintendo didn’t even flash a quick blurb of official tech specs during the reveal, and I read after the fact they didn’t want to go with the name “Super Nintendo Switch”, so as to not draw attention to the hardware standard involved. I think combined with what could be considered an underwhelming showing of new first party Nintendo titles from the get go, with only Mario Kart World (more of an open world Forza: Horizon take on the MK formula) and Donkey Kong Bonanza (think Red Faction meets Super Mario Odyssey) having substantial footage, and you get kind of a whelmed sense of delivery about the whole thing, albeit one with a glimmer of potential energy about it.

The Joycons being able to be utilized as if a mouse for a keyboard certainly opens up the door of awesome port ideas for not just FPS games, but PC titles in general, and presents excellent opportunity for game design ideas across the board, especially with the amount of third party support Nintendo already has on board in releasing software for their console.

While perhaps not one of the most face-meltingly awesome hardware reveal in Nintendo’s history certainly an interesting one I’m looking forward to exploring in the coming days.

~Pashford

Raw Dogging the Rough Cut

This photo captures the essence of self-deprecation
involving my sales pitch of this post, but I promise
you the vibes are at least twice as funny and four
times less shitty in execution

In reference to my visual sarcastic aside above, I kept putting off a similarly slapdash attempt at a return to proper writing (about video games) for arbitrary reasons, though I imagine unless I had been kidnapped by a traveling dance theater to perform for them due to their outlandish threats involving being sent to actual hell before I die, outside of that obviously reasonably likely scenario, just about any other reason for a mood being spoiled thus halting the creative process would come off as arbitrary.


Like when family get togethers really spoil the holidays,
for example.

The joke would be on that ill-fated group of stylishly groovy kidnappers regardless, as December does represent a kind of personal hell for me every year, though I refuse to elaborate within any serious context as to why. I do attempt to keep this first and foremost about gaming after all, and the reasons I reference fall far outside the boundaries of the virtual. Now that it is almost February, and I’m in a much better place overall, I will eschew the notion of waiting for my first piece of writing, “the return” if you will, to be some grandiose affair or some amazingly well thought out narrative or brilliant deconstruction of the industry or some title I’ve recently beaten. I’m just going to casually riff about games in general for a bit, if that’s okay.


Just the average Pash like creative noodling for
your idle entertainment, just like old times

I recently gifted myself an Xbox Series X for X-mas, not that I even care about celebrating the event in any serious way, but I’ve been attempting to curtail my more Grinchly demeanor in many small, celebratory fashions to attempt to hold back the cynical tide that washes over me. In a twist of unintentional spiteful reinforcement of my complete apathy towards Christmas itself, I did in fact not even open the damn thing on the day of, and even waited till the New Year to do anything with it. While I have been thoroughly enjoying my experience with said system, as I have always been an advocate of any major platform within the realm as someone who identifies as platform agnostic, the series X is by and far the least substantial jump from one generation to another I have ever seen. It makes sense on some level, as why fix what’s not broken, as the UI for the Xbox family has always been mostly functional, so keep the ecosystem similar, right?

Fair enough, though I do think this among many factors indicative we, as a collective, are starting to come to a head here in terms of sheer innovation for consoles moving forward, and I’m not just picking on Microsoft here. Having seen the PS5 UI in action, and at least glimpsing the very “same-ish” nature that the Switch 2 is bringing to the table, I think the day of the truly new and the innovative, in terms of pure individualized ingenuity, is likely behind us at this point, for many reasons I think is worthy of a much longer winded, well constructed post on the matter, so I’ll save elaborating on that thought for another time.


An example of a well constructed post

The game I chose to be my “launch title” was Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine 2, and truth be told, while the experience has been fun, I’m kind of shocked that this console is already four years into it’s lifespan and this is the supposed peak that we’ve hit with it thus far. Like, yes, I realize it runs at a high frame rate while stable, with hi-res textures and a shit ton of enemies on screen moving around, but the fact that it comes off as kind of a derivative Gears of War third person action romp comes off as a little underwhelming. Much like the Series X; yes, its fun and I’m enjoying myself quite a bit, but I certainly wouldn’t advocate to anyone to rush out and drop several hundred dollars on picking up the new Xbox offering or upgrading their PC just to enjoy this. Both feel like warm greetings to someone who hasn’t just arrived, but is “already there”, if that makes any sense. I know any stans of either MS or 40k are probably just vomiting blood at this point due to my perceived heresy in having reserved expectations about consumer products I interact with instead of trying to be the next big shill in the content creator space, but I didn’t start writing about games to blow smoke up the ass of either developers or fandoms while giving them a reach around with every prevailing thought I have regarding their favorite hobby/industry of choice.


I did not get into this line of work cause
I enjoy gargling wieners mind you

However, one is lucky enough once in a great while to enjoy a come hither experience that runs parallel to a gratifying sexual release, which is where my mention of downloading the Castlevania: Dominus Collection comes in. This would in fact be a double dip, but this is one media allegiance I don’t mind getting undressed for, as we normally have no problem having quite the sexy time together. That is of course, when Konami isn’t being a bunch of shit heels cause they’re too busy putting out low-grade pachinko machines for horny middle aged Japanese business men, and doesn’t leave me high and dry by sitting around with their thumbs up their stubborn asses for a better part of a decade doing absolutely fuck all while Nintendo and Netflix do all the heavy lifting in reminding people how awesome Castlevania is.


So awesome

Good thing I did download it, too, as Warhammer took an astonishing 11 hours to install on day one, and I desperately wanted to actually use my Series X for something on January 1st aside from using it as one of the most gloriously excessive paperweights of all time. Since I had recently just finished Portrait of Ruin on the Switch, and I had not touched Order of Ecclesia since it’s days on the DS, the choice was obvious (sorry Dawn of Sorrow). Such a damn good game that helped to set the ground work for what would become it’s marvelous spiritual successor Bloodstained. If nothing else, I praise OoE for it’s mindful editorialization, as the pacing is par excellence. I mean, everything is about as Castlevania-ey as it gets, so the game is a complete package, which goes on to help further showcase the the mind numbing, head scratching direction Konami would travel forward with after a successful series of three top notch titles on the DS, by going the Lord of Shadows route immediately following, soon after diverting into complete obscurity for the series in total.


Seen here: Konami helping to lay the ground work for
the eventual shift into focusing on their pachinko machine
machinations

Game pass has been sorely missed, and for all of the very reasons I love it, I also ironically can’t really utilize it. The value involving the content available with the sheer number of titles is astronomical, and definitely helps to continue to set the tone for what most platforms should have moving forward, but my problem is time, not access. To wit: I happily picked up Rare Replay once again after so long away, to continue my long and arduous trek to get the end all be all equivalent of a “soft” 100% of the title by finally acquiring the achievement “Stamper Brothers Forever”, which is essentially mastering like, 30 games. I double checked, and come this August, it will have been a decade since I started this insane quest, and I do not plan to slow down any time soon. Though, referencing my point about time being my problem, not access, outside of the last couple years where I was in a purgatory of sorts in a myriad of ways that prevented me from having an Xbox full stop, time is not on my side when considering the excessive standards, beefier offerings and ridiculously overstuffed with content that modern day gaming represents.


Surely, we must stop and ponder what might be
considered too much of a good thing?

I have many more thoughts to share, and even ones mentioned here deserve far grander elaborations, but this is my first post in months, so I’m going to give myself a Pash on the back and let this small victory breath for a moment while I muse what and or how I may continue to write with consistency in the near future.

Till next we meet…


~Pashford