Tag Archives: 3DS

Fat Worm Blows A Sparky

Hey gamers,

As some of you may remember, my last post involved the excitement I had in being invited back to E3 for the second year running.

And There Was Much Rejoicing.

And There Was Much Rejoicing.

Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worst, and I came down with something shortly after.

Editors Dramatization

Editors Dramatization

Having regained my wits, and possessing a renewed sense of vitality, I was excited to get back to the gaming grind. As I mentioned last week, I look forward to sharing with all of you, a treasure trove of assets and stories from last years E3, something I’ve been meaning to get to since about this moment in time. I never mean to hesitate, but it ends up happening on a continual basis. I can only speculate my constant delays involve how the creative process can be an unpredictable beast; one plagued with narcolepsy, sporadically remaining dormant, only to chaotically awaken at the worst moments.

Creativity Can Be Lurking Around Every Corner

Creativity Can Be A Very Horrifying Process

I didn’t show up here with an agenda today, aside from an attempt at entertainment (wait for it), as my focus has been rather divided. A lot of people I hear giving recommendations on how to “get shit done”, will suggest being a master of multi-tasking, which I’ve concluded is a load of claptrap. I know it’s probably different for everyone of course, but I find I do some of my “best work” when I’m not thinking about it, merely doing instead of thinking of doing. Apparently, this is referred to as wu wei in Taoism, though I assure you, my own machinations are far from mystical.

Pictured: How I Normally Get My Article Ideas

Pictured: How I Normally Get My Article Ideas

Dancing naked to Goodbye Horses isn’t the only thing I did while trying to come up with the motivation to start writing today, the list was extensive:

Died in Super Meat Boy a lot-

About Five Minutes Worth Of Dead Bodies Here

About Five Minutes Worth Of Gameplay, Here.

Changed clothes-

I Was Feeling 12thy Today

I Was Feeling 12thy Today

Ate some ice cream- (See Above)

Enjoyed a nip of whiskey-

Whiskey

Listened to the Attack on Titan theme song way too many times-

Foreshadowing is Fun!

Foreshadowing is Fun!

Browsed pictures of Panda Bears:

What Fun

Like This One!

Debated with myself about self-awareness and quality of work-

Walter: Is This Your Article, Pash? The Dude: We Know It's His Fucking Article, Where's The Fucking Content You Little Brat!

Walter: Is This Your Article, Pash?
The Dude: We Know It’s His Fucking Article, Where’s The Fucking Content You Little Brat!?

I believe all of these things occurred in my own wu wei, but I don’t think being buzzed and imitating Buffalo Bill is what Taoists had in mind when coming up with the concept. However ridiculous this aside may seem, I wanted to stress two points: getting shit done is sometimes an absurd process, and two, if you find your own flow, it’s not about doing one task or doing many tasks, you will simply task, and results will follow.

Or Not

Or Not

I recently picked up my second replacement 3DS. While I am grateful to get my hands on the device for a third time, I also can’t avoid feeling a little silly I’ve somehow estranged myself from so many at this point. I’m seriously considering surgically grafting this fucking thing to my body, so as to avoid having the device become lost or damaged once again. Some of the longer time readers won’t at all be surprised that the game I’m currently playing is indeed a Zelda game. However, a similar number of you may be surprised I’m not about to do a 17 part retrospective mini-series about Majora’s Mask, and how it relates to both culture and time travel.

Heavy, I Know.

Heavy, I Know.

Rest assured, I’m enjoying it thoroughly, and I think the portable remake works just as well as Ocarina of Time did, but I wasn’t really struck with any sort of inspirational lightning bolt for an article this time round. Could be the divided focus I mentioned earlier, as I’ve been playing probably too many games recently, and not really getting stuck on a single one. Which is what I should likely do, as I tend to uncover truths or identify more interesting concepts when I house arrest myself in a virtual reality for a long enough time. I also spread myself too thin, foolishly thinking in a single week, I can halt an apocalypse, reconsider my stance on nuclear deterrents, prevent history from dying, conclude whether or not free will truly exists, keep the high score of Ms.Pacman at a local barcade intact…

My flow is a no go, and those who depend on me are suffering for it.

Is he really not coming this time? Because I'm totally going to push them off this shit.

Is he really not coming this time? Because I’m totally going to push them off this shit.

So yeah. That’s really it. This piece was suppose to be a warm up, and the unfortunate reality is that warm ups aren’t really top shelf dealings, but I had a couple of okay jokes in here so, yeah.

Animaniacs

~Pashford

P.S: You know, on second thought, it does feel a bit wrong I’m not excitedly espousing about Zelda, as I’ve done such a good job of it in the past, I think I’ll leave you guys with a poll, on whether or not my next article should be about Zelda. Just click on one of the buttons below and tell me what you think.

POLL: Do you think Pashford should write about Majora’s Mask for his next article?

Yes []
No []

Cheers,
~Pashford

P.P.S: Some of you may be wondering why I named the article “Fat Worm Blows A Sparky”, and the reason for the title is simple. The article title is actually the name of a 1986 ZX Spectrum game that shares the same name, and I believe the experience of playing the game, is as confusing as this article was to write, and read there after.

See for yourself:

I told you the title made sense.

~Pashford

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Drifting Along On The Winds Of Change

Hey Gamers,

As some of you may have noticed, I was woefully absent during the month of December. This makes the second December in a row I have failed to provide anything meaningful to gaming culture, and for that I apologize.

Things Don't Always Work Out As We Hope Them Too

Things Don’t Always Work Out As We Hope Them Too

I’m happy to say the circumstances that lead to my absence this December as opposed to last December were infinitely more preferred. December 2013 was most certainly a devastation, while December 2014 was absolutely a celebration, though the excessive fun having did leave me out in the creative cold.

Seen Here: Me Ringing In The New Year

Seen Here: Me Ringing In The New Year

That’s kind of like a second apology/I had fun hope you did too. I realized shortly after the new year I owed it to myself, my creative devices, and the gaming community at large to do something…anything of note, so here I am now trying to make good on my claims. I do also wish to give public thanks to everyone who helped contribute to my gofundme, which was a rousing success. It granted me the fantastic fortune of a brand new Wii U, and even Mario Kart 8 to boot (the latter of which I saved as an X-Mas present to myself). The Wii U was right in time for the release of Smash Bros, which I wrote about a couple time in the days following the games launch. The write ups were maybe…a little more dry than I intended them to be, but were rich in Vitamin E…

The E Standing For Entertainment, Of Course!

The E Standing For Entertainment, Of Course!

Err…at least as far as the pictures were concerned. They had a lot of E in them…

Tons Of Vitamin E

Tons Of Vitamin E

 

Vitamin E For Days...

Vitamin E For Days…

I am truly grateful of everyone who contributed to my gofundme, and though I have already sent each and everyone of you a personal letter of thanks, I wanted to say at least one more time….you really made a difference, and you really made me happy.

So thank you.

Falcon Gratitude 2
When I came back from my extended absence last year, I had a series of articles (which I’m quite fond of upon retrospection) looking at A Link Between Worlds and the Zelda series as a whole…something I’ve analyzed several times over. This year, I don’t have anything quite as long winded planned in my return to written reality, but I’m trying to change it up a little bit…by not talking about the Zelda series for a change! For example, would you believe me if I told you I was about to talk about a non-Zelda game?

Non *Zelda* Game

Non *Zelda* Game

Or that horses aren’t even involved?

Weeeell, technically.

Weeeell, technically.

Cheating a little bit here, but if enjoying Mario Kart is playing dirty, I don’t ever want to be clean again. While I really do want to discuss Mario Kart, in all of it’s ridiculous glory, I do reckon I should first discuss Smash U, as it would be the first time I’ve really talked about the experience on ATE as opposed to just alluding to it, which is odd now that I think about it. Smash is up there as one of my fave games to sit down with, and the new ones are no exception. I’m impressed Nintendo had the development capabilities to make both the 3DS and Wii U versions of Smash a reality in the same year, let alone within two months of each, but I suppose we should in fact thank Sora Ltd and Bandai Namco Games for being able to pull it together at just the right time.

Which Bandai Namco Don't Always Get Right

Which Bandai Namco Don’t Always Get Right

 

Like Sometimes Seriously Doesn't Get Right

Like Sometimes Seriously Doesn’t Get Right

 

Like, What The Hell, Dude? Were They Planning A Spin Off Game With These Two Idiots Called The Adventures Of Derp Face And Captain Horseshit?

Like, What The Hell, Dude? Were They Hoping To Launch A Spin Off Game With These Two Idiots Called The Adventures Of Derp Face And Captain Horseshit?

My initial write ups on Smash weren’t poppy enough, I’d say in review, which is really what Smash is: vivacious and pretty (much like the flower). We will ignore that in reality, poppies are used for the production of morphine and codeine, which ruins my comparison…unless you’re totally into that kind of thing, in which case I have no hesitation to likening Smash Brothers as gaming crack, just all around being a video game equivalent of an addictive narcotic.

An Average Example Of A Smash Player Between Matches

An Average Example Of A Smash Player Between Matches

I do in fact, wish to officially review Smash still, so I’ll keep my thoughts on the game more rapid fire and less explicit. To that point: super glad there’s an intro (3DS version lacked one), very pleased the online is functional and appealing this time around, and the balance struck between both Melee and Brawl feels just right. Even as a die hard Melee fan, I’ve surrendered to the notion that we can’t nor shouldn’t want the exact same thing for the rest of time, and Smash U feels fresh and familiar enough to have me hook line and sinker. The variety of play at hand in the new Smash was always a known known, but perhaps the levels of customization there after were an unknown unknown, with stage creation and new fan ideas for mini games being a delightful surprise.

Smashketball? But Of Course!

Smashketball? And How!

While the new Smash being good isn’t a surprise, per say, I think some of the ways that the new Smash is good, are. A consideration to competitive balancing as opposed to the denouncement of it was definitely one, cross-platform release was way more forethought than I remembered Nintendo being capable of, as well as online play actually mattering to the grand scheme of Smash longevity. And yes, while we can scratch our heads at certain elements of the execution, like no current plans for paid DLC (madness, I know), or an easy way to trade custom stages through the Wii U itself (though talks of an update have been mentioned), I still acknowledge an awareness on Nintendo’s part at paying attention to what matters most: us.

The Fans

The Fan...Err, Not Him.

Err, Not Him.

 

Yeah, Them

Yeah, Them

I say this with a certain sense of positive energy, as Nintendo hasn’t always had a healthy awareness of who really matters, as previously mentioned. Nintendo coming out and saying they want to add online functionality, including an easy way for fans to trade custom levels online means they are listening, and ultimately being more self-aware about what meaningfully relates to their games, which is good. What excites me more is that the positive momentum of Smash doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Smash U’s ambitions are just one example of Nintendo “getting it” a little more recently, another example being Mario Kart 8’s video replay system, in which Nintendo has once again showcased it’s the fans who help make the games worthwhile, and imbues them with the power to make Nintendo games more fun well after the game is released.

The Luigi Deathstare being a prime example of how developer tools (even incredibly simplistic ones) in fan hands, can help celebrate the little things about video games everyone loves so much, which is what matters at the end of the day.

Luigi Deathstare

Don’t Look At Me Like That


Okay, okay! Sorry…your death stare is anything but little, Luigi…

Just for clarity here, using Mario Kart as my current example, mindful systems with the intent of fan inclusion, is an acknowledgement on Nintendo’s part (by action at least), the company realizes one positive but big change they can make in moving forward. The Luigi Death Stare, which spawned from the replay system and through “fan creation” unintentionally helped to promote Mario Kart 8. This meme that was spawned from a 10 second clip ended up going viral and peaked so much interest about the game, it was a better advertisement for MK8 than Nintendo could have ever thought up of without the fans.

With Mario Kart 8 still in mind, you can even upload the clips to Youtube (even just aside from the mode “Mario Kart TV” in game to see what’s going on globally), which is a step forward in Nintendo using more topical technologies to acknowledge fans, and with it, a willingness to give us more control in helping to contribute to the games they make. Mario Maker is yet another example of Nintendo understanding just how important fan support, community and creation are in helping grow a healthy product, as the entire premise of Mario Maker is to make new content using an established Nintendo formula for your fellow gamers. Fan creation (and modding) have been key elements of contribution in modern day game design, a concept very successful companies in the field of video gaming adopted a long time ago.

*Cough* To Name Just One Slightly Relevant Example

*Cough* To Name Just One Slightly Relevant Example

I’m aware Nintendo has dun f***** up a lot…with the Wii U specifically, and in ways involving their own products and the community that are hard to accept as reality. In this moment, I must acknowledge that Nintendo has been imperfect in many regards, and is behind the times both technologically and conceptually in a variety of ways. However, it’s times like these I notice a willingness and effort to change, which is an excellent first step to self improvement. When I start to notice these little changes forming a bigger picture, a far more engaging bigger picture, I’m reminded while you can’t always “count” on Nintendo, they will always surprise you. This is exciting in this case, as the winds of change seem to be in Nintendo’s favor.

Let’s just hope that breeze turns into a gust and ends up being a wind storm.

Sounds Fun In Theory, Anyway

Sounds Fun In Theory, Anyway

In closing, while I’m always rowdy and raucous while playing Smash, Smash U is a part of a stable of games that represents a healthiness with it’s ambitions in relation to Nintendo’s future. A relief comes in analyzing Smash, Mario Kart etc, in that while Nintendo has shown time and time ago they know they have a community, these recent instances may be a sign they want it to be a real part of how they develop moving forward. Nintendo has shown they know how to have fun behind the wheel, but they may finally be understanding that they don’t always have to be driving for us to get somewhere good together.

Who knows? Perhaps now, like so many other developers, they realize we (the fans) know how to burn rubber too, and sometimes, having fun means throwing us the keys and saying “Let’s Go”.

Allons-Y

Clara See
11th Annoyed

~Pashford

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With A Little Help From My Friends…

Hey Gamers,

As some of you may recall, my last couple of posts detailed my excitement for Super Smash Brothers on the 3DS, for a number of exciting reasons.

Like venting long time frustrations, as many have done before me.

THERE HE IS! GET HIM!

THERE HE IS! GET HIM!

Uh Huh….that’s right….who’s laughing now!?

WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?!

Wait, who said that?

OH SHI-

OH SHI-

I know in my heart of hearts, Ash will never join the roster of Super Smash Brothers, but never say never on dreams coming true, which is what I’m sure Nintendo has been thinking with the Wii U’s recent raise in popularity. This turn of events is indeed due to a better line up of games this year, but can most definitely be attributed to hype behind the soon to be released Smash Bros. I’ve observed expectations and excitement levels from even non Wii U owners as exceedingly high.

Seen Here: A Very Excited Room Full Of Smash Players Not Pictured: 3 Million Other Screaming Fans

Seen Here: A Very Excited Room Full Of Smash Players
Not Pictured: 8 Million Other Screaming Fans

I know some of you may be ready to point out that there aren’t 8 million people who own Wii U’s, but I have no doubt that Smash Brothers as a singular entity will help boost the consoles sales numbers immediately and consistently for years to come. Even beyond Smash Bros finally putting the Wii U on peoples radars, the games paired functionality with the Amiibo add-on Nintendo will release along side it is sure to be met with fanfare. Considering how insanely popular similar ideas have been that have come before it, I have little doubt that “The Pokémon Company” will have any trouble selling their brand like freshly baked crack cakes.

You Heard Me, Tyrone.

You Heard Me

I’m glad to see Nintendo finally turning their fortunes around this gen, and am even more excited that a new Smash Bros is so immediate in our futures. My time with Smash at E3 this year did not lead me astray, as the 3DS version has already done it’s job of wowing me. With the Wii U version having way more content, and even support for Gamecube controllers, I couldn’t be more excited for the Wii U version to finally drop…cause when it does, I’m going to channel my inner Toon Link and go Wind Waker on everyone involved…

And It's Gonna Get Real

And It’s Gonna Get Real

At least, that’s what I wish I could do, what I really want to do. See, I was really stoked I was able to pick up Smash 3DS when it first launched, and anyone who’s followed me for a longer time knows why. I had the misfortune of having my 3DS stolen on my birthday, which was considerably crappy. That would have been more than enough personal loss for one day to be bummed about, but my Vita was in the same bag my 3DS was in when it was nabbed by the slippery handed bastard who claimed it.

While I was rather immediately screwed and without my portable devices, I eventually scrounged up the resource to get a replacement 3DS, which was all well and good for awhile. My initial plan was to replace my 3DS first, as Smash Bros was a far more exciting prospect than anything the Vita had to offer at the end of this year. When Smash finally launched, I was pouring hours into the title, unlike any other game I had touched this year.

Sadly, and as is my luck, my replacement 3DS suffered water damage a mere 6 days after Smash launched, leaving me high and dry. To add insult to injury, my old laptop finally died the very same day my 3DS did, even leaving me without a convenient way to communicate my recent woes.

But Wait! There's More!

But Wait! There’s More!

Yeah, if that wasn’t enough, this consistent stream of lost technology started about a year ago, even before my birthday related bullshit, when I had lost my apartment in a flood (I live in the Boulder, Colorado area and it was a miserable place to be last September). I was forced to couch surf after I had lost my apartment, which I was thankful for as others weren’t quite as lucky.

During the time period I was staying at my friends place until I got back on my feet, a friend I had entrusted to temporarily store my 20 year game collection completely failed me, and ended up throwing it all away at a moments notice and without mention. Shortly after this awful moment in time when it seemed it couldn’t possibly get any worse, all three of my next gen consoles were stolen, a subject I had alluded to before on ATE but didn’t have the mood or energy to discuss, as it all represented a very dark time in my life.

I Know Those Feels My Twilight Sister

I Know Those Feels My Twilight Sister

So yeah, not a very cheery post, and one of the only ones I’ve written where I talk more about myself than video games, but that’s the truth of the matter. While Active Time Event will always stay non-profit, and I’ve never asked for any kind of help before, I recently started a gofundme at the urging of some of my friends who felt sympathy for my situation. While I know I can’t replace all of what I lost, as some of it was one of a kind and irreplaceable, I can at least reclaim my next gen systems, and enjoy what I have left.

I might be down, but I’m not out.

Gotta Keep On Fighting!

Gotta Keep On Fighting!

With a little help from my friends and some generous strangers, I’ve already raised a healthy portion of my $500 goal. While that money in it’s entirety isn’t enough to replace all of my next gen consoles that were stolen, I’m hoping I can use the sum to repair my 3DS, and more immediately reacquire my Wii U before November 21st, so I can play the game I’ve been looking forward to the most this year.

If you feel like helping, either as someone who’s been reading for awhile or someone who just wants to help out a fellow nerd in need, you can contribute to my gofundme page found below http://www.gofundme.com/gujc38. Any amount will help, and with enough luck and generosity from the gaming community, I’ll be able to regain my Wii U and Smash to my hearts content once more.

And to anyone who shares my story or contributes to my fund, you have my thanks.

My…

Falcon Thanks

~Pashford

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Do You Like Super Smash Brothers?

Hey Gamers,

Some of you may be wondering what the hell I’ve been doing all month. Not only have some big games launched recently, but arguably the game, or at least my game launched earlier this month on the 3DS.

Duck Dynasty 2

Err…No

But it did involve Duck Hunting!

True Story

True Story

In case you missed it, the new Super Smash Bros did indeed launch ont the 3DS on October 3rd, and the response has been rather positive. From the strong sales to the evidently warm reception from both casual and competitive players, the new Smash Bros seemed a clear winner from day one. The series itself stands out as one my favs, and I’ve discussed it on a couple of occasions in the past, on top of being completely in love with the game when I was at E3 earlier this year.

Some of you might be asking the obvious question: how in the world have we not seen an update every single day from you if you’re so excited for such a big game?

This is how.

This is how

I’m only being slightly farcical with the usage of the previous image. While it was not in fact a David Cage game that has ruined my day, it was quite literally heavy rain that has prevented me from talking about Smash at great lengths. See, I had my 3DS inside a new backpack that I was extremely unaware was not remotely water resistant, and rode home from work in a downpour. The results were a waterlogged 3DS, and the inability to play Smash Brothers along with it.

Oh yes, my laptop also shit the bed that day, too.

Attention: game cancelled due to rain

Attention: game cancelled due to rain

Yeah, it was pretty much the worse gaming related tragedy in the past 4 months, which in and of itself is a terrible reminder of tech disasters, as the last worst day involving video games actually involves how I lost my previous 3DS.

Laugh It Up, Chuckles.

Laugh It Up, Chuckles.

Obviously, I’ve regained regular computer access, but I did not have the means to just up and replace te aforementioned soggy 3DS…a special edition Zelda 3DS mind you, and the same one I bought with the intention of having on hand for when Smash finally launched. The very same 3DS that didn’t even last a full week before the unpredicted water damage destroyed the bastard, and the one that is el finito, preventing any further Smash playing. I’m hoping you get the picture here, as I can’t emphasize enough just how frustrating this has made the past couple of weeks.

I Hate That Dog!

I Hate That Dog!

So, believe me readers, when I say that I’m sure you may be bummed you don’t get to laugh and revel in my Smashing antics, but any pain you feel is removed by a factor of ten in relation to how bummed I feel in regards to a game I was set to review, obsess over, and completely lose myself in, but sadly can not.

Duck Hunt Dog 2

*Laughing*

 

YOU'RE GONNA DIE, CLOWN!!!

YOU’RE GONNA DIE, CLOWN!!!

*Clears throat*

ANYWAYS, massive disappointment, I know, from both a work and recreational perspective. I’d be lying if I said I was going to be able to replace my 3DS anytime soon, so my one hope now is finance focused else where. I speak of being able to afford a Wii U (which I know will cost a similar amount, but bare with me) so I can pick up the new new version of Smash Brothers (see?) when it launches on Nintendo’s home console on the 21st. That won’t fix my current situation with the 3DS of course, but it will give me the topical review I so desired with Smash 3DS, but did not get the chance to make happen.

For now, I say a somber farewell to my 3DS (again…sigh). While the remnants of that rich kingdom were washed away before their own time, I feel rest assured that like other tales that have come before it…

Water Will Not Deter Heroes

Water Will Not Deter Heroes

It Can However, Greatly Piss Them Off

It Can However, Greatly Piss Them Off

While I’m aware my following thoughts act merely as a consolation prize, I will impart some impressions on Smash Bros, just to say I tried at least. The lack of intro movie was a complete shock, as the Smash Bros intro cinematic is often the cream of the crop in hypetastic efforts by any gaming standard. I guess I’m more shocked I thought they would be able to include it, given Sakurai commenting several times on how limiting the 3DS version was during development, but my hopes remained high.  Can you blame me? I *live* to hear that announcer say Super Smash Bros.

I need it.

I NEED IT

I NEED IT

The limitations of the 3DS card iare very apparent from this first moment, and every moment there after. The game’s a blast, rest assured, striking that sweet balance between Melee’s speed and Brawl’s floatiness, but what it has on offer is a small smattering compared to the content behemoth that was Brawl. Hell, Melee looks chock full of content compare to this sucker, and Melee came out 13 years ago. This sounds a little more damning then I mean it to be, but the obvious remains so: Nintendo knew they were forcing Sakurai to make a lot of sacrifices to make this sucker multi-platform.

Which You Know, Is Really Okay With Nintendo

Which You Know, Is Really Okay With Nintendo

I mean, Smash is the kind of game that not only excites gamers, but synergizes and ignites Nintendo’s entire platform. A surge in 3DS sales (to the point of being sold out in Japan even), but a huge shot in the arm to the Wii U’s relevant value, as Smash will continue to get great reviews right up until it launches on Nintendo’s home platform, once and for all cementing the consoles value to even the most dubious of gamers. On top of everything mentioned, Smash is the first game to use Nintendo’s new Amiibo add ons, which is going to be a crazy cash cow for the Pokemon company that could, if they convince consumers these cute little figurines are worth the price of admission.

Mission Accomplished

Mission Accomplished

So yeah, Smash is a blast, but we kinda knew that was gonna happen anyways. What we didn’t expect is that Nintendo, without announcement, was basically restructuring and strengthening their entire gaming empire with a release of a single game, solely through the use of our excessive love of Smash Brothers. A game with enough quality and popularity, Nintendo slyly created a mini-platform based on the predicted games success, to completelyreverse their continually dire fortunes this entire generation in a single months time. For once this gen, Nintendo, I must say…well done.

Nintendo fans had no idea what was coming, because while we thought we were getting asked a simple question…

Smash Bros Bateman

Nintendo Was Just Getting Ready To Completely Overpower Us

Anyways, those are some thoughts. Take em, share em, save em for a rainy day (ugh), do whatever the hell you like with em, because they’re yours now. I did have far more interconnected and intimate thoughts relevant to the content of the game rather than the concepts behind it (character analysis, Smash Run thoughts, Zelda related sexiness), but I’m pretty satisfied ending here. Even if I don’t go on more about the 3DS version of Smash (which is still possible), the game will be relevantly entertaining and likely topical for years to come once launched on the Wii U.

So stay tuned.

~Pashford

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Seriously Not About Horses

Hey Gamers,

I’ve been away from ATE for awhile, but it’s time for my self enforced mandatory monthly pop-in to let you know I am indeed, still gaming. Some of you may remember I was going on at some lengths about horses throughout August, and by the end of it all, I was seriously fucking done with horses. So, after weeks to myself and a hiatus from ATE and the horse shit that followed, what do I have at the ready to eagerly talk about?

Horses.

Seriously

Seriously

It’s actually the same god damn one, too, and I am so not horsing around about this. I am kind of joking about this being the topic of debate today, as there really isn’t much to discuss in terms of why this matters….because I’ve already done that. Though, as a point of observation, this is indeed “The Epona”, as she is included as “a weapon” in the Master Quest DLC pack for Hyrule Warriors, which is a nice little bookend to my extensive espousing of her as such a staple to the series in my previous series of posts. The only detail worthy of mention here is that some gamers were disappointed to find out using Epona as a weapon includes riding her into battle as opposed to physically arming Link with her to attack hordes of enemies with.

Like So

Like So

I apologize for the level of funny in regards to that picture (kinda sorts), as I feel there were a lot more ways the visual gag would have worked better, but probably would have taken three times longer to make then this entire post will, so that’s kind of a tough shit scenario.

Insert Obligatory Phantom Hourglass Mockery Joke Here

Insert Obligatory Phantom Hourglass Mockery Joke Here

I was not seriously going to go on about horses again, especially after everything we went through already, I just felt obligated to bring up the Hyrule Warriors DLC, as it was just so incredibly absurd not to mention. I would have already been playing it, but the reasons for why such events have not yet occurred hearken back to the dark times, in the long long ago. I mean…if I really tried, I may be able to summon the words to tell the story. Let me see…

Thousands of minutes ago...

Thousands of minutes ago…

Nah, that’s going to take too long. Anyways, I had planned on talking about other nonsense, but realized at the last second the new Smash Brother is right around the corner. The game’s release didn’t really sneak up on me, mind you, I am just normally distracted by so many games at any given moment, even the ones I’m really excited for slip under the radar…for a time. This game being Smash Brothers, however, means the game can’t possible stay out of my focus for long, for a number of reasons. One of which involves that the game can’t actually slip “under my radar”, as I’ve had the radar surgically implanted into the inside of my eyelids, in order to prioritize the games release.

Though, in the past couple of weeks, in order to be productive, I’ve had to try and take some some extreme measures to adapt to this new reality.

DON'T PANIC BLINK

DON’T PANIC BLINK

Though it does the trick, let me tell you. I know this all sounds rather crazy, but it should, because a new Smash Bros is a crazy big deal. At least in my circles, it’s really one of the only games I’ve played more than a decade ago that my friends today are still severely excited about, and for good reason. Between the multi-platform approach, to the on the go capabilities of the 3DS, and taking into consideration the direction Sakurai has taken with the newest iteration (somewhere between Melee and Brawl)..there’s reason to be excited.

Like, This Excited

Like, This Excited.

Rest assured, I’ll be running around like a cucco with it’s head cut off on the 3rd, trying to play, think and write about this sucker as hard as I fucking can. I know I recently said I would really stop talking about Zelda for awhile, but that universe is one of many focal components of this exciting new experience…and I mean, come on.

It’s Smash Brothers.

~Pashford

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Serious About Horses

Hey Gamers,

I think, no matter what, I’m done talking about Zelda and horses for awhile after this post. While I’ve had a lot of fun discussing both(?), I desperately need a break from both Hyrule and equines in a serious way.

How serious of a way you may ask?

This Serious.

This Serious

And before I move on, I know what you’re thinking: “Pashford, how could you!? Using the memories of Artax casually again to play with my emotions just for a cheap laugh? How could you!” I understand where you’re coming from dear readers, but it’s hard to convey how serious about horses I’ve been, and that picture sums up horses in a serious way. I mean, I tried to go a different route, and include a picture of Elton John on a horse for the joke to work, but a Google search provided me with only this picture involving Elton John and horses:

Elton John Horses

And I’m way more serious about horses than what’s shown in that picture. Though, considering that picture says “Live Like Horses”, I would suggest if you were a horse (of course), not to live in the Swamp of Sadness. You know…for obvious reasons.

You Know, For Obvious Reasons

Because You Can’t

To the denizens of Fantasia: to avoid further depression involving dead animals we love, let’s just assume horses can’t go into the Swamps of Sadness, just to be safe. I mean, we can experiment all day with this shit, but if all we get is a couple hundred dead horses and therapy sessions for the rest of our lives, I’d say let’s just agree upon the “Horses Don’t Do Swamps” theory and be done with it. That sounded like a Goosebumps book waiting to happen. Also, did they explain how Atreyu didn’t just submerge entirely after losing his best friend? I mean, you sink into the swamp if you’re sad, right? What, was Atreyu popping Prozac’s like they were skittles or something?

Thinking About It, Yeah He Probably Was

Thinking About It, Yeah He Probably Was

Eh, whatever helps get you through the day…err swamp I suppose.

Weeeeeell, It's Mostly An Accurate Sentiment.

Weeeeeell, It’s Mostly Accurate

I mean seriously, what kind of person goes around committing genocide as a life choice? Honestly, don’t be going around hurting people for fun! While I’m at it…

And Don't Be Going Around Breaking Things, Yah Tit.

Don’t Be Smashing Stuff That Doesn’t Belong To You, Yah Tit.

I mean thinking about it (not to derail or anything here, Zelda), if we really take a look at the social and moral implications of the Triforce and the philosophy behind the series as a whole, I believe you’ll find…

Zelda Not Amused
Okay, okay! I’m sorry! I’ll rein in my thoughts about horses and continue on.

*Ahem*

I refocus my attempts at wrapping up my thoughts involving Ocarina of Time, Epona, and everything that has followed suit. I really didn’t mean to go on for so long about the event, looking back now realizing Back in the Saddle was a fine enough stand alone piece as it was. Not to say the rest has been bad, but there are just so many other great games and awesome sites I need to tend to at this very moment. This exercise in examining the merits of replaying Master Quest was suppose to be a quick effort, not a multi-part series over a period of a month. No matter what happens by the end of this post, I will take my leave of both Hyrule and horses for a time, as two things have happened since I’ve begun my extensive conversation about both:

1. I don’t stop hearing fairies I can’t see
2. I can’t stop seeing horses that don’t exist

As you can imagine, I’m deeply concerned for my own sanity, and must make way to more reasonable pastures post haste. BUT, not before bringing to light a few thoughts I hadn’t properly molded into a write up while I was explaining why Epona in Ocarina of Time represents some of the best horse action in gaming, and everything that entails.

Two posts ago, I was a little enamored by the idea of Epona’s nostalgic value, in relation to the gaming populace as a whole. I cited the regular difficulty gamers had in completing their games, even observing statistics that 90% of players couldn’t even beat the first level of Super Mario Bros. This relates to getting Epona (as I had mentioned), due in part to her not only being much later into the game, but rather difficult to eventually obtain. This speaks to the levels of dedication Ocaina instilled in it’s user base, and holds value in realizing people loved them some Zelda on the 64. The number of times I’ve personally talked to gamers about their fondest memories of Ocarina, involving riding around Hyrule Field on Epona mind you as an extremely high number, which shows you she may very well have been many gamers first horse.

Well, Let's Not Get Filthy About Zelda...

Well, Let’s Not Get Filthy About This…

 

Err...Again Anyways...

Err…Again Anyways…

 

Okay, That's Enough Of That

Okay, That’s Enough Of That!

Epona being many gamers first horse is fitting, as at this point I think Ocarina may have been many people’s first Zelda, so they are just impossibly interconnected for all of time in many gaming minds, resulting in kind of an “ideal experience”.

The potent value of nostalgia often lends itself to strengthening not only the quality of the experience, but the quality of person, too. I’m sure that’s why it will be a long while before a game comes along to top the perceived value of Ocarina of Time, and the horse it rode in on. I’d like to take this moment to contextualize “Best Horse Action”, as I know riding on Epona (at this point in time anyways) is limited in many ways, and that there are plenty of other games I’ve played and many more that other gamers have enjoyed with arguably better horse action:

Just

Just

 

To

To

 

Mention

Mention

 

A

A

 

Few

Few

 

Examples

Examples

Those aren’t all of them, of course, but some of the first that popped into my mind. I had a handful of other ones I didn’t even mention I thought of almost as immediately (Assassins Creed, Darksiders, Minecraft, about a billion MMO mount experiences), but thought my point was justifiably reinforced. The point I was making was in comprehension, in having a mutual understanding that while there may be great horse action out there, even mechanics that help to make or define the game entirely, Epona may yet stand as the most pivotal or valued equine when looking back on our glorious gaming history. Not just any Epona either, Ocarina’s Epona. Much like I interjected the idea of other games being able to claim “better horse action” in general that is more intertwined with the quality of the game, I take one more moment to remind everyone that another Zelda game (Twilight Princess) even had better horse mechanics (with Epona no less), that helped to differentiate and heighten Twilight Princess, by taking a page out of Ocarina’s book.

Or As Many Would Admit, Merely Took All The Pages From Ocarina's Book And Simply Revised Them

Or As Many Would Acknowledge, Taking All The Pages Out Of Ocarina’s Book And Simply Revising Them

But that’s the point here, and one that shouldn’t be mistaken as contradiction or flip-flopping. My current point is not one of derailment (there’s been plenty of that going on already), I am trying to stay on point by observing….

AW, COME ON BATMAN! BAT BOMBED AGAIN!

AW, COME ON BATMAN! BAT BOMBED AGAIN!

Man, I hate when you do that, Bruce! You just Bat Bomb me when I’m in the middle of a good point! Now what am I going to do?

Hey, Look! It's Another One Of My Running Jokes! Sonic Must Be Here To Save Me From Being Bat Bombed!

Hey, Look! It’s Another One Of My Running Jokes! Sonic Must Be Here To Save Me From Being Bat Bombed!

Yeah, go Sonic! Help me get back on point! Uh oh, looks like The Batman is activating something in response to Sonic’s attempted Anti-Bat Bombing Plan!

Oh No! The Batman Is Using His Gadget To Initiate The "Cucu for Cuccos" Stategy!

Oh No! The Batman Is Using His Patented Cucco Transponder Device!

What kind of gloom and doom could this spell for Sonic, I wonder?

That's A Shame

That’s A Shame

Well, things don’t look very good for our little blue running joke here, however fast he may be.

While those two are distracted fighting, I’ll take this moment to sneak away and finish up my point involving best horse action. Even with all of the given standards of games using horses (and when Ocarina launched, there really weren’t many at all), and even within the Zelda universe having another game with an arguably better experience involving a horse, the power of nostalgia transcends perhaps even higher quality, which in turn makes the memory of Epona almost impossible good. Obviously, the memories of the quality involved are genuine, and do come from a place of excellence Ocarina can indeed brag about, but it’s this sense of personal indomitable truth from our past that makes so many look back on Epona so fondly.

Putting aside the legacy of influence Epona has had, like making mounts absolute staples in the Zelda series or the impact she has on other developers who have tried to match and or beat her inclusion in Ocarina of Time, the standards for which many games are judged by gamers, is in turn from how much people enjoyed this game, Epona included, and the fun they had as a result.

Much like, say for example, Final Fantasy 7’s effects on gaming history having more to do with time and place then it’s observable quality.

Speaking Of Another Memorable Mount

Speaking Of Another Memorable Mount

While the hype for FF7 comes from a real place of quality, the game’s ultimate relevancy stems from when it came out and what it did at that time, thusly reaching a huge audience and influencing those who were not previously influenced by RPG’s in general. While the debate is seriously subjective, myself and many others could argue better RPG experiences before and after FF7 that “did it better” so to speak, even looking at games within the pedigree (like FF6 and FF9) as example. All of these games, however, did not come out when FF7 did, and in turn did not effect, influence and set the standard for new comers to the RPG scene like FF7 did, effectively memory locking the game as the “ideal experience” for millions.

I know the mention of FF7 may seem like a random aside, but I believe the related thought ties in nicely with Epona, as I could have easily replaced just about every noun in my description of FF7 with OoT, which relates to the best horse action I’ve been going on about all this time. It’s not as if Ocarina really is the end all be all Zelda or the absolute best of it’s kind in terms of video games, but it did greet gaming audiences at a certain time and place in a major way, which is something no other Zelda experience can ever completely duplicate. One of the big reasons the game is remembered, is for it’s refinement in regards to both fun and solutions, Epona a prime example of both. Everything about Ocarina came out when it did, at that specific time and place that it did, and as a result, cemented the experience in a lot of minds as “the ideal experience”.

An ideal experience exists somewhere between fantasy and reality, and one that can’t be quantified or measured, only marveled at and discussed. A preference spawned from our best or earliest moments, and one that will live on invincibly, shared between minds and preserved in culture for generations to come. This is what Epona represents, I believe, the “ideal experience”, and is the reason why I’ve been so serious about horses these past few weeks.

How serious you may ask?

This Serious

This Serious

~Pashford

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Post of Stalling

Hey Gamers,

Hope you’ve been enjoying my recent banter involving Zelda, and all of the wackiness that has followed.

Picture Slightly Related

Picture Slightly Related

Today was going to continue the trend of both my fixation on my Hylian adventures and all equestrian nonsense involved,  but in predictable fashion, I am in desperate need of more time to do so.

I know what you're thinking and I so wish it were possible

I know what you’re thinking and I so wish it were possible

Well, I suppose it is possible, in one sense. This posts name is fitting, as it represents my only alternative in “slowing time down”, and that’s by stalling my next worthwhile  experience about Zelda, without depriving you of some well deserved entertainment in the mean time.

Which, you know, some of us are worse at than others.

Which, you know, some of us are worse at than others.

I do apologize for the rush job this post represents, but I feel as if it’s value (in all of it’s sloppy glory)is worth the haste it requires. This isn’t the first time I’ve compared Zelda to Halo(insert hyperlink here), but in the essence of releasing this post before it’s ready, one thing springs to my mind when getting it out the door on time.

The Mess is Worth The Fun

The Mess is Worth The Fun

I really wanted to say ” This post has the same number of problems Halo 2 did: Bug #:Ship It, but knew that didn’t entirely makes sense, which I guess, would have been a fun bug in this post? Boy this is messy. What Fun!

(Include picture about messy fun for visual punchline)

In any case, since I can’t possibly conjure any more time, I can still provide one quick thought about Zelda, to try to maintain a sense of consistent cogency (shh) in my posting. So, I leave you with this:

The Sun’s Song in Ocarina of Time…would that not just totally fuck up Hyrule’s ecosystem in a massive way?

I'm Gonna Go Ahead And Say Yes

I’m Gonna Go Ahead And Speculate Yes

I had more random crazy awesomeness I *wanted* to discuss, but you’ll have to wait for the special edition for me to include all of the fixes and content for this post.

See What I Did There?

See What I Did There?


(Too Bad)

~Pashford

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