Seriously Not About Horses

Hey Gamers,

I’ve been away from ATE for awhile, but it’s time for my self enforced mandatory monthly pop-in to let you know I am indeed, still gaming. Some of you may remember I was going on at some lengths about horses throughout August, and by the end of it all, I was seriously fucking done with horses. So, after weeks to myself and a hiatus from ATE and the horse shit that followed, what do I have at the ready to eagerly talk about?




It’s actually the same god damn one, too, and I am so not horsing around about this. I am kind of joking about this being the topic of debate today, as there really isn’t much to discuss in terms of why this matters….because I’ve already done that. Though, as a point of observation, this is indeed “The Epona”, as she is included as “a weapon” in the Master Quest DLC pack for Hyrule Warriors, which is a nice little bookend to my extensive espousing of her as such a staple to the series in my previous series of posts. The only detail worthy of mention here is that some gamers were disappointed to find out using Epona as a weapon includes riding her into battle as opposed to physically arming Link with her to attack hordes of enemies with.

Like So

Like So

I apologize for the level of funny in regards to that picture (kinda sorts), as I feel there were a lot more ways the visual gag would have worked better, but probably would have taken three times longer to make then this entire post will, so that’s kind of a tough shit scenario.

Insert Obligatory Phantom Hourglass Mockery Joke Here

Insert Obligatory Phantom Hourglass Mockery Joke Here

I was not seriously going to go on about horses again, especially after everything we went through already, I just felt obligated to bring up the Hyrule Warriors DLC, as it was just so incredibly absurd not to mention. I would have already been playing it, but the reasons for why such events have not yet occurred hearken back to the dark times, in the long long ago. I mean…if I really tried, I may be able to summon the words to tell the story. Let me see…

Thousands of minutes ago...

Thousands of minutes ago…

Nah, that’s going to take too long. Anyways, I had planned on talking about other nonsense, but realized at the last second the new Smash Brother is right around the corner. The game’s release didn’t really sneak up on me, mind you, I am just normally distracted by so many games at any given moment, even the ones I’m really excited for slip under the radar…for a time. This game being Smash Brothers, however, means the game can’t possible stay out of my focus for long, for a number of reasons. One of which involves that the game can’t actually slip “under my radar”, as I’ve had the radar surgically implanted into the inside of my eyelids, in order to prioritize the games release.

Though, in the past couple of weeks, in order to be productive, I’ve had to try and take some some extreme measures to adapt to this new reality.



Though it does the trick, let me tell you. I know this all sounds rather crazy, but it should, because a new Smash Bros is a crazy big deal. At least in my circles, it’s really one of the only games I’ve played more than a decade ago that my friends today are still severely excited about, and for good reason. Between the multi-platform approach, to the on the go capabilities of the 3DS, and taking into consideration the direction Sakurai has taken with the newest iteration (somewhere between Melee and Brawl)..there’s reason to be excited.

Like, This Excited

Like, This Excited.

Rest assured, I’ll be running around like a cucco with it’s head cut off on the 3rd, trying to play, think and write about this sucker as hard as I fucking can. I know I recently said I would really stop talking about Zelda for awhile, but that universe is one of many focal components of this exciting new experience…and I mean, come on.

It’s Smash Brothers.



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