Awkward Glory

Hey Gamers,

I know it seems like only a mere five hours since my last post…and yes, I did just hyperlink to five hours ago, but scheduling restrictions have led me to cram in another article in the wee hours of the moment. This brings us to present time.

…and yes, I did just hyperlink to right now.

Calm Down, It's Not A Fucking Time Paradox

Calm Down, It’s Not A Fucking Time Paradox

I’ve noticed I have this bad habit of just about creating something great when I write an article, my Call of Duty comparisons piece a fine example. I don’t think I drove home point enough that while the issue on some level is important to deal with, it’s really not the most important issue we could be dealing with. I love consoles, and for the obvious reasons, but I’m a no bias party in the grand scheme of gaming. Just because I’ve been lazy enough not to upgrade my own rig, doesn’t mean I don’t see the power of preference PC’s bring to the table.

In my own machinations, even if I had top o’ the line in hardware, I would still indeed get both consoles at launch. I could list a number of relevant reasons, but the one my gut tells me to go with is, is the one where I don’t have to waste time worrying about which version of Call of Duty: Ghosts looks slightly better.

Because I'd Totally Be Playing Octodad.

Because I’d Totally Be Playing Octodad.

Despite having a comfy home on my computer, I do wish to see how Octodad will play out on the PS4, and more directly, how the Move will “enhance” the gameplay. I use that word loosely, as I don’t want them to improve the controls in the slightest. The core formula is absolutely where it needs to be, nothing needs to change about this gorgeously goofy game. I merely hope the Move controller translates the controls, in all of their awkward glory, and somehow was beta tested thoroughly enough to make sure you become the awkward glory.

And All That Might Imply

And All That Might Imply

I mean, props to Sony, they’re finally going to get me to buy a Move, three years after the fact…and with a non-first party title. Oh well, Sony didn’t have the goods I wanted, but they bartered their own services to get the goods I needed. Which is more then I can say for Microsoft, who after three years of trying to unsuccessfully sell me the device…

...Has Now Made It Mandatory That I Do So

…Has Now Made It Mandatory That I Buy One

I suppose I could now immediately make a joke about being forced to purchase PS+ when the PS4 comes out…

...But I Would Just Be Making A Joke About Microsoft Again

…But I Would Just 180 Into a Joke About Microsoft Again

Where’s Nintendo in all of this? Making fun of them should be a fucking hate crime at this point. Where are they?

The Great Sea? Oh, Okay, That Actually Looks Pretty Cool

The Great Sea? Oh, Okay, That Actually Looks Pretty Cool

They must have got lucky with that one, it’s probably like the only game coming out in the next 3 months for the Wii U.

Oh Yeah...That's Looking Fun Too

Oh Yeah…That’s Looking Fun Too

Well, surely the 3DS is still fucking it up somewhere…

Well Shit

Well Shit

Okay…so Nintendo isn’t fucking up. For Now.

I’m not entirely convinced Nintendo will keep this up, however, that Sony will make the Move a worthwhile piece of hardware, or that Microsoft won’t try to manipulate my skin with the Kinect, so I’ll just keep a close eye on em.

You hear that guys?

Seriously

You’re All On Watch

Let’s see, did I cover everything I wanted to? Hmm, PC gaming is regularly taken for granted, check, Octodad is super sweet, check, the big three all make fun consoles but make a shit load of mistakes while doing so, check.

Hmm…I guess that’s it. Oh right, I was going to do some kind of quick ode to survival horror or nod to loving a truly gruesome experience.

But uh, yeah, I got nothing.

Fuck You Guys

Fuck You Guys

I don’t know, go play the Resident Evil Remake on the Cube, or Silent Hill 2 on the PS2 this Halloween, or watch this hilariously nostalgic video of the g4 crew talk about their favorite survival horror games, or start watching this and remind yourself of what true horror is all about. There’s plenty of scares to be had, and I can’t possibly provide them all.

Okay, just one more.

Game Journalism

Happy Halloween

~Pashford

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