New Dogs, Old Tricks

Hey Gamers,

Contrary to all information leading up to this point, my worst fears have been realized.

Okay, Second Worst.

Okay, Second Worst.

DON’T PANIC dear games, that picture is merely a joke. We may rest easy, knowing it will never ever fucking happen, but observe the fear and anxiety the idea creates inside of us. If you want to apprehend what the Three Goddesses were going through, when they flooded Hyrule in the introduction of Wind Waker due to the  Ganon’s devastating destruction, the previous picture should provide you with ample powers of empathy, into understanding their decision.

Three Goddesses: Oh Look, It's Ganondorf. Let Us Summon Link To Take Care Of Him.

Three Goddesses: What Misfortune, Ganon Hath Returned. Let Us Summon Link To Dispose Of Him.

FLOOD IT

Three Goddesses: Oh Shit, Link’s Not Around?

Three Goddesses: Fuck It, Flood It.

Three Goddesses: Fuck It, Flood It.

In all honesty, a fair decision, considering the alternatives.

I’m going to apologize in full for getting so off track, though the flooding of a people is not traditionally funny, the thought of Hyrule being submerged entirely due to Ganon sucking so much ass certainly is. In any case, my initial intention was to draw a terribly fierce contrast of “worst fear realized”, by mentioning that Watch_Dogs had been delayed till 2014. Heart breaking to me, and a legitimate surprise. The game seemed on track, and I’m sure Ubisoft waited till the last reasonable moment to announce  the game’s delay. It was one of my initial go to’s as a launch title for the next gen, waiting with bated breath to enjoy the title on my PS4.

Fate however, had different plans.

Ubisoft: Fuck It, Delay It.

Ubisoft: Fuck It, Delay It.

We might come to find out, in all honesty, a fair decision, considering the alternative.

A Fatal Exception Could Occur.

A Fatal Exception Could Occur.

~Pashford

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