Quickie: Crazy Nuts

Hey Gamers.

I don’t know how I forgot to mention this little bit of insanity.

As just one of the many innumerable gamers, who just couldn’t refuse the original Eternal Darkness the respect it deserves, this news most certainly excites me. Despite Dennis Dyack’s more recent claim to fame, I’d say people are ready to return to their preferred vehicle of insanity.

And all that entails.

And all that entails.

Shadow of the Eternals is looking for some crowd funded support, and will benefit from anyone looking to renew their own crazy. This contribution page can be found here, and has already gained some admirable support from fervent fans.

Moving from crazy to batshit insane.

Having read that recent little bit of nuts on D-Toid, I can’t help but furiously scratch my head.



This could be me over analyzing. I’ve been known to do so, from time to time. Yet, I feel compelled to wax philosophical about the implications of this unnerving information. EA discussing SimCity in the positive, while alluding to Dead Space and Crysis in the negative, in front of people who want to give money to one of them, has got to be one of the most dishonest business tactics this side of in-game parking meter micro-transactions. I know the presentation was mired in corporate double speak, and would therefore, be impossible for anyone with a truly healthy mind to grasp.

Despite this, EA trying to glaze over what was a massive failure and an incredibly damaging launch, makes me believe they spent most of the SimCity launch huffing inhalants in their own parking lot.

EA, seen here with investors, trying to put a positive spin on the SimCity launch.

EA, seen here with investors, trying to put a positive spin on the SimCity launch.

We’re talking about EA discussing business matters during an investors call, after all,  so attempting to describe the content of the exchange, would be an effort in rhetorical sarcasm.  More to the point, this may really be of no major importance at all, as everyone involved may have been so heavily medicated and self-involved, EA could have held a fucking demonic square dance and no one would have thought twice about it.

What one shared inhalant might have turned the EA investors call into.

What one shared inhalant might have turned the EA investors call into.

Ultimately, my worry is that with this distortion of facts, or misgivings about “what makes successful”, we observe what is  incredibly degrading to the medium of gaming itself. With so many ridiculous sentiments about what makes a game acceptably successful, or what budgets smaller studios have to contend with, we already have enough reality mangling to deal with. The last thing we need, is for the biggest gaming company around to spew toxic waste about what was clearly a massive failing on their part, and then try to brush it off as “the financially viable option”.

DRM? Old Hat. Restrict access to your game all together, that's where the real money is.

DRM? Fuck that, no one gets to play it.

We’e arrived at a point where a game can now be sold, without any content, let alone bad content. Why restrict access to a title for financial purposes, when you could just restrict access to the title for financial purposes.

Pictured: EA execs brainstorming on their next blockbuster hit: Spring Time for Hitler: The Game.

Pictured: EA execs brainstorming on their next blockbuster hit,            Spring Time for Hitler: The Game.

Of course, where Pandora’s Box may be opened, shall there be light that is left at the bottom.

And I'm blinded.

And I’m blinded.

Ending on a positive note, Double Fine has announced their own Humble Bundle, and the value within is astonishing. The whole pack is a pay what you want dealie, and in good spirit, can be adjusted to your liking. Give to DF, give to charity, be an asshole and give to no one, it really lets you embrace your inner gamer.

No matter how bad you actually are.

No matter how bad you actually are.

The Bundle itself represents a King’s Feast in the world of gaming, with a pay what you want price for Brutal Legend, Psychonauts, Stacking, and Costume Quest, which all represent some of the best titles in their respective genres. Some of them, being the sole proprietor of their respective genre. The games will be available DRM free, and are available for everyone: PC, MAC, Linux, you name it.

They got it.

They got it.

To sweeten the deal, people who donate $35 dollars or more get an early look and first dibs on their new title Broken Age, and people who dish out $70 bucks will receive an exclusive Double Fine t-shirt. While I’m super bummed I don’t have enough money for the top shelf premium price (must have T-shirt), I think I may just buy this whole bundle on the cheap, despite already owning multiple copies of many of the titles.

Till Manny do us part, Double Fine.

Till Manny do us part, Double Fine.

That’s it for today.

Remember gamers, for all of the worst kind of nuts out there, there is a far darker insanity waiting to be found.
And sometimes, you’ll even be crazy lucky enough to find yourself a Psychonaut.

Happy Gaming,


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