Post of Stalling

Hey Gamers,

Hope you’ve been enjoying my recent banter involving Zelda, and all of the wackiness that has followed.

Picture Slightly Related

Picture Slightly Related

Today was going to continue the trend of both my fixation on my Hylian adventures and all equestrian nonsense involved,  but in predictable fashion, I am in desperate need of more time to do so.

I know what you're thinking and I so wish it were possible

I know what you’re thinking and I so wish it were possible

Well, I suppose it is possible, in one sense. This posts name is fitting, as it represents my only alternative in “slowing time down”, and that’s by stalling my next worthwhile  experience about Zelda, without depriving you of some well deserved entertainment in the mean time.

Which, you know, some of us are worse at than others.

Which, you know, some of us are worse at than others.

I do apologize for the rush job this post represents, but I feel as if it’s value (in all of it’s sloppy glory)is worth the haste it requires. This isn’t the first time I’ve compared Zelda to Halo(insert hyperlink here), but in the essence of releasing this post before it’s ready, one thing springs to my mind when getting it out the door on time.

The Mess is Worth The Fun

The Mess is Worth The Fun

I really wanted to say ” This post has the same number of problems Halo 2 did: Bug #:Ship It, but knew that didn’t entirely makes sense, which I guess, would have been a fun bug in this post? Boy this is messy. What Fun!

(Include picture about messy fun for visual punchline)

In any case, since I can’t possibly conjure any more time, I can still provide one quick thought about Zelda, to try to maintain a sense of consistent cogency (shh) in my posting. So, I leave you with this:

The Sun’s Song in Ocarina of Time…would that not just totally fuck up Hyrule’s ecosystem in a massive way?

I'm Gonna Go Ahead And Say Yes

I’m Gonna Go Ahead And Speculate Yes

I had more random crazy awesomeness I *wanted* to discuss, but you’ll have to wait for the special edition for me to include all of the fixes and content for this post.

See What I Did There?

See What I Did There?


(Too Bad)

~Pashford

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Wild Horse Adventure

Hey Gamers,

Yesterday, I finally remarked about some of my time at E3, personal states of turmoil, how I overcome them, and eventually how I enjoy myself there after.

Zelda, namely.

Yeah, I Get Real Weird With It

Yeah, I Get Real Weird With It

Though, I suppose if normalcy involves not thoroughly enjoying Zelda games, I would wish to remain odd indefinitely. As already noted, when despair or lethargy strike, Zelda is there to save the day. My post yesterday about getting back in the saddle, referred to me mounting the high horse of efficiency once again, in much the same way I have before: by playing Zelda. The wasn’t a random play through, per say, as the sit down acted as a celebration, as the occassion marked not only the three year anniversary of getting my 3DS, but replacing the one that was stolen from me weeks prior. Plus, this one was savvy special shiny stellar super sexy Zelda edition #1, so needless to say.

It was awesome.

So Awesome

So Awesome

Even though writing about the mishaps involving the lost 3DS ended up being fun to write about, my main focus was initially, in discussing Ocarina of Time itself. In good fashion, however, I was too verbose to get it all into one post and got totally off topic there after. I know Ocarina may be one of the most discussed games of all time, which leaves me wondering what I could say that hasn’t already been said, but I’ve been way too excited about my last play through not to remark. Besides, I’ve built a cruel self defense mechanism into my being at this point, where if I play a game for too long without writing about it, I start to seize with guilt in regards to my failings as the gaming ambassador I try to be.

However Dubious A Role That May Be At Times

However Dubious A Role That May Be At Times

Irregardless, here we are, saddled up and ready to go. Ocarina of Time is the topic of discussion this day, and what a robust topic we have at hand here. While I would love to remark about OoT in it’s entirety, I’ll more or less focus on a couple of prime design aspects, and more importantly, discuss some of the merits and oddities involving Master Quest mode. Since I still had a completed filed of the first quest on my copy of OoT3D, I thought it fitting to finally go through with playing through Master Quest, just to shake it up a bit. I remember  having fun with the added difficulty when I gave it a go on the Gamecube all those years ago, and thought it was about time to revisit the past…

And Go Back To Finishing This Game Again

And Go Back To Finishing This Game Again

What? What did you think I was going to say? Make some kind of stupid non-sequitor time travel reference? I do more than just talk about Zelda and reference Back to the Future on a regular basis, you know. I do other things too.

Like Save Clock Towers

Like Saving Clock Towers

 

For Example

For Example

See? I told you I…

Dammit…well, that’s what I get for dealing with time travel. It can be feel so very cyclical.

Anyway…refocusing my point for obvious fucking reasons…

GOD DAMMIT BATMAN, STOP BAT BOMBING MY POSTS!

AW, Come on Batman! Stop derailing my posts half way through!

Sheesh, you mention the guy once and he never leaves. (Though, wouldn’t it be super bad ass if The Batman did fight Ganondorf until he turned into Ganon, and then rode him right back into the Sacred Realm like some kind of amazing dimensional rodeo? DimensionBat!).

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, refocusing my point, Ocarina of Time 3D beckoned, and I knew Master Quest would help me answer the call. I’ve played OoT so many times at this point, Master Quest is really the only way to slow me down sans some absurd self-limitation, which I believe I’ve run out of at this point. I suppose I could do the game blind folded, but even then it would just be a matter of time. For the record, I’ve 100%ed the game on every platform, done it without dying, with only three hearts, speed ran it, and even did a “minimalist run through”, where I tried completing the game with the least number of resources possible. Hell, i’m surprised I haven’t done the game upside down yet.

Wouldn't Be Unexpected, All I'm Saying

Yeah, I Get Real Weird With It

My point, Master Quest still holds a spark that OoT just doesn’t possess anymore, which is unavoidable after this long. You can only experience a game for the first time once, and only do something as satisfying as winning Epona from the clutches of Ingo or pulling the Master Sword out of it’s pedestal before you only remember why something was great, without feeling the same as you once did. This is just the essence of time, but experiences rich enough, like OoT, are memorable enough to never forget why they were worthwhile in the first place. Of course, like a number of gamers will tell you, while the experience and the story are savory treats, us gamers have a hearty appetite for gameplay, insatiable almost. Long after we’ve enjoy the main course, we have an endless hunger for left overs that we constantly seek to foolishly satiate.

Which is why Master Quest is so damn tasty: all content, no filler. (Following my last metaphor of course, in no way do I feel the story elements in OoT are unneeded).

More accurately, all gameplay, and remixed gameplay too. The whole world is mirrored, so as to immediately and continually fuck with longer time players relying on muscle memory. The double damage reminds you of just how estranged from your shield you’ve really become, which is odd as it’s one of Link’s first pieces of equipment. The Master Quest remixing ranges from well done to lack luster to cool story, bro. The child dungeons feel like more of an engagement this time, with other temples like the infamous Water Temple gaining considerable favor by being fine tuned to fucking tolerable. Other temples like the Fire Temple are exposed in their remixed flaws, as you can tell the level was built so thoroughly around it’s own architecture, the remix kinda just confuses you in it’s attempt to “mix things up a bit”.

Speaking Of Confusing Remixes

Speaking Of Confusing Remixes

Jabu Jabu is indeed the remixed dungeon I cite as the “Cool Story, Bro” attempt, as I feel the slight twists are lame and the inclusion of the cows is silly. I understand the possible intent in adding them (Jabu Jabu is a fat bastard), but if you explained the level to someone, you’d likely get the infamous meme response I’ve cited the dungeon as representing. Ironically, when EGM first mentioned Master Quest so many years ago, my interest was peaked, as was theirs, when they used the cows as the example to try to explain how delightfully backwards Master Quest really is. Never the less, I remain steadfast in my assessment if you really think about how to explain Jabu Jabu in Master Quest to someone:

“Yeah, and instead of shooting yellow lumps on the ceiling with your slingshot, you have to shoot cows in the wall instead and also spiderwebs.”

Cool Story, Bro Link 2

I kid more or less, as I was serious when I said I enjoyed all of the quirkiness Master Quest brings with it, even if some of it now seems slightly silly in retrospect. Speaking to some of the better remixes, The Spirit Temple is a proper cluster fuck, in the best possible way, as some of the solutions involve madness spanning 7 years time and a single key. Even on this play through, I had to ponder solutions in the Spirit Temple a few times and was halted from proceeding, due to the Master Quest remix. The Gerudo Training Ground is also pleasantly punishing, as it really is a figure it the fuck out rapid fire room after room of what-the-hell-now-a-fest….but you know, the good kind.

And You Know, Not The Bad Kind

And Like, Not The Bad Kind

And regardless of whether the terrain is mirrored or not, The Running Man is still a cheating bastard.

What An Asshole

What An Asshole

What’s even more irritating, I “quit the race” if I travel using my Ocarina against this guy. Oh yeah, sure dude, I quit because I used an Ocarina to get the job done. I’ve got some bad news for you, bucko.

A Few People Definitely Disagree With You

A Few People Definitely Disagree

I have more to say about OoT3D, and totally didn’t even discuss what I had initially planned too (curse your derailments via Bat Bombs, Batman *shakes fist*), but this post is starting to run a little long. Rest assured, this Wild Horse Adventure will continue, and perhaps next time you’ll find out what the fuck I was even talking about when I named the post that in the first place.

(To be continued)

~Pashford

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Back In The Saddle

Hey Gamers,

The world did not in fact end when E3 finally arrived, though it’s impact on my life felt just as I suspected it would.

Fucking Holy Shit

Fucking Holy Shit

Yeah, it was a god damn unstoppable celestial body bearing down on me with all of it’s tremendous might. I know some of you may be dumb founded I haven’t written about E3 since the event, considering it represents the pinnacle of both my writing and gaming career, but some of the most amazing stories are left largely untold.

It's complicated

It’s complicated

Rest assured, my E3 tales will be told at some point, as they represent a turning point for me that I won’t soon forget. I’m not being entirely honest about why I haven’t written more about my journey to L.A, but the reasons for that are as complicated as The Time War itself. As I’ve gone into before, I can tend to lose myself in some heavy bouts of isolated thinking, which can produce varied results.

This Guy Knows What I'm Talking About

This Guy Knows What I’m Talking About

Also, Her.

Her Too…We Really, Really Can’t Forget Her

The last visual punchline I use as a point of relevancy. The last major hiatus I went on involved far grimmer circumstances, but produced the result of a multiple part piece I did involving A Link Between Worlds and Zelda as a whole. I bring it up now, as I showcase some predictable habits in my own life. Even if we’re just going by this body of work I call Active Time Event, Zelda seems to be a historically effective way to will me out of emotional entropy, which is always very closely tied to my ability to game with full force.

Though I’m a fan of all kinds of gaming, Zelda has maintained a status most other games will never match (in my bias), let alone maintain for as long as the series has. I say this now, as some of you may be groaning I’m about to discuss Zelda for the umpteenth time on ATE, but it’s merits as a relevant force in my life never ceases to be true. I know I should really talk about other games more than I do, lest people believe I’m just a one trick pony.

Keeping In Mind, That One Trick Can Be Really Fucking Cool

Keeping In Mind, That One Trick Can Be Really Cool

Also, here’s the Gerudo Valley theme:

Also: Link fighting The Batman

WHERE IS SHE?!

Sweet

Refocusing my point for obvious fucking reasons, (though I mean, wouldn’t it be really cool if Link rode The Batman through time like some kind of seriously pissed of stallion? Dude, TimeBat!).

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, refocusing my point, while I love to talk extensively about a lot of games, Zelda always inspires me to write when no writing is happening, the Zelda series acting as a muse in my darker hours. Not that E3 represented a darker hour, but my life is not a rock & roll game fest 24/7. Real things happen too, and not every day can be as mesmerizing as those spent on the show floor at E3. Though there were several factors in my recent lull of work, one prime example involves a loss of spirit. Right before I went to E3, a bag containing a number of very important items went missing, two of which being my 3DS and my Vita. While physically replaceable, the data, memories, individuality and charm of those machines is lost forever to the march of time, all due to both cruelty on the part of the thief’s, and my own stupid irresponsibility. I knew I couldn’t let the passing of my electronic friends effect my mood too much, as I was fast approaching the most important event in my life.

Seriously, it’s E3.

Not Seen Here: Me, Just Out Of Frame To The Left

Not Seen Here: Me, Just Out Of Frame To The Left

That joke is funnier if you are me, because I was there, right before I briefly met Miyamoto. I have a picture of the man himself from the angle mentioned in the picture (just to really drive home how funny that is), which will make this little anecdote even better when I can locate the photo and edit it into this post at a later date.

I'll Fix It In Post

To Quote Someone Great: We’ll Fix It In Post

All of this is very interconnected (The Home Movies with standing), as knowing you have a problem is the first step to fixing it. I avoided being devastated by my loss of equipment so I could fully enjoy my trip to E3, but knew well and good I need to fix my portable gaming problems upon my return home. Help came faster than expected, due to a last minute problem with my airline ticket. Due to some bizarre mishap, I needed to re-buy my ticket to get home from L.A, or else go Lord of The Flies at LAX until next years E3. The second plan sounded like it was going to be a plausibly difficult to pull off, and I was able to get a brief credit limit increase on the very credit card that got me out to E3 in the first place. Good thing too, as it left me with a bit of change left over. Not much, but enough to fix the problem of a lack of the 3DS in my left pocket.

A criminal injustice corrected.

Luckily, due to some good timing and some lucky breaks, I was able to score a mint condition second hand Link Between Worlds edition of the 3DS. An object that’s not only rare at this point in time, but one I’ve seen go for upwards of $250 these days. The fact that I got mine for $100 is mind blowing. I don’t normally bother to mention dollar value in my own workings, as it’s besides the point of the real quality at hand, but considering the quick turn around on value regained helped to wash away my own sad weariness. Needless to say, I was very surprised.

Like This Surprised. No, Not Toon Link, Donkey Kong Three Seconds After This Photo Was Taken

Like This Surprised. No, Not Toon Link….Donkey Kong, Two Seconds After This Photo Was Taken

As another odd aside, I ended up getting my new 3DS three years to the day I picked up my old one, which carried with it some soft charm for me. I thought of no better way to celebrate my regained fortunes by playing the same game I did on the very first day I received my first 3DS, and that was Ocarina of Time. A game that needs little introduction, but one that has effectively been prefaced with 1129 words up to this point. Never the less, a fantastic piece of gaming culture, with an excellence rarely matched, and one that reminds me why I continue to never lose hope in the realm of gaming.

A proper way to get back in the saddle, as it were.

Back In The Saddle

(To Be Continued)

~Pashford

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E3 Arriveth: 0 Hour

If it’s something that can be stopped, then just try to stop it!

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E3 Approacheth: 24 Hours Remain

I wish I had more time, I really do.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Tick Tock Tick Tock

In case you are just joining us, I’ve been following the lead up to E3 with a more intimate approach than my usual operation, with my own personal exposition and how I am dealing with the event as opposed to the games themselves. As you might have surmised with me comparing the event to an impending apocalypse, things feel dire. Feel is the key word there, as E3 does represent the end all be all for me, but in a marvelous way,  and has for some time. As any gamer who’s been around the virtual block will tell you, it’s kind of a big deal.

Kind Of

People Know It

While the event is still big, I’m not feeling as big as I normally do, as has been discussed very recently. In my constant bouts of mania preceding this monumental occasion, I’ve been less big and more this:

Trapped...(In A Glass Case Of Emotion)

Trapped…(In A Glass Case Of Emotion)

At least at times anyways. Mania is a wild horse, a mental state bucking and bronking until you’re completely thrown off due to the rough nature of the harsh ride. I know this may sound odd coming from someone who’s made it their goal to attend this event and is about to do so, but recent days have left me torn and tattered, and my own internal struggle to accept who I am vs what I’m actually about to do has made things a bit fucking crazy.

For All You Visual Learners Out There

For All You Visual Learners Out There

At the beginning of this post, I did mention about wishing I had more time. That was more literal of a declaration than you may have imagined, as it’s 3 in the morning as I type this. I work tomorrow (at my regular boring non-video game related job), get on my flight shortly after, and will be in LA immediately following. Needless to say, I really am just about out of time, and even sacrificing sleep just to tell you about what I don’t have left. I didn’t mean that to sound like I was fishing for sympathy, which was certainly not the goal. There is a sense of adrenaline about all of this, and one I’m starting to assimilate with entirely. The internal debate with myself and the nervousness that fuels it, is being rapidly overtaken by the realization that I do not have the luxury of being uncertain, hesitant or shy at this very moment.

What is important, is the fantastic, the sublime, and the reason of the season. E3 is just about here.I am fully aware of it’s might, and I know what kind of power is trying to draw me in…

But That Doesn't Mean I'm Not Going To Try And Hang On Tigh

But That Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Going To Try And Defy It Regardless

I’d say I envisioned this moment differently, but I think I realize, and frighteningly so, I didn’t actually envision this moment at all…which is quite bizarre, all things considered. An event that meant so much to me, year in and year out, a grand happening that spurred me forward, normally retaining more value in my eyes than any other major holiday ever could. The bizarre idea that E3, possibly one of the biggest catalysts that got me into games writing in the first place, never materialized in my mind beyond the mere idea of being present during it’s existence.

As mentioned: bizarre, and I believe there’s more to this thought than I think I even have time to ponder (currently), but one I will definitely have to return to when time normalizes. My quick off the cuff assessment about this odd reality where dreams can sometimes be dangerously rhetorical, leads me to believe that while those dreams have value, I’m inclined to say that some of the best ones should be literal, too, helping to create a future that is almost palpable to the senses. Opposed to the alternative, where your dreams are so dreamy, you don’t even know if your dreams are too dreamy to become real outside the dream itself.

Not Sure If Referencing Inception Or Just Tired

Not Sure If Referencing Inception Or Just Tired

tl;dr: I may have had trouble grasping the reality of going to E3, because I was always so content with just believing in the fantasy.

What ever the case may be, I expected some kind of heart felt retrospective or nostalgic gush at last minute in explaining younger me’s journey to E3, but that may have just been the only part of the dream I could ever figure out. Now that the dream is here, there’s no point in fantasizing about it any longer, just enough time to make some old fantasies into new realities. I’ve traveled a great distance, not just space mind you, but journeyed far over a vast volume of time itself to arrive at this point, and having my head in the clouds would do a disservice to me, my efforts and the reality in front of me, the dream of this event an asset I no longer have any need of.

E3 represents a turning point for me, a very real destination after a long journey. I’ve buried the doubt, covered the critic, and put aside my asinine questions of how else it could have been done. I realize now is not the time to ask if I really could have “done it better”, arrived here “faster”, or if I’m “at my best”. No matter how much I could think about those things, I would simply ask for more in an endless debate with myself, with my own worst enemy, and forget what E3 is really suppose to be all about: having fun. The point isn’t that I did it weirdly or poorly or barely at all. The simple fact of the matter is I did finally do it, after everything was said and done.

And now that it’s here, it’s time to have fun.

~Pash

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E3 Approacheth: 48 Hours Remain

Yesterday, I finally came clean with the truth of the matter, in regards to my own inner monologue involving E3.

I’m deeply confused. How confused you may ask?

Let's Say Funky Forest Confused

Let’s Say Funky Forest Confused

As was evident in my last post, I was having a hard time explaining myself, or at least struggling to say anything beyond struggling to say anything. What I was really trying to get at, in a not so succinct manner using the parlance of our times was HOLY SHIT…more or less. Not very professional, I am aware, but this is the unabashed truth of the matter. I know I took a lot of paragraphs to say “I don’t know what to say”, but If I didn’t start warming myself up then on what I should say when the time comes, I really will end up having nothing to say at all. Put simply; shocked speechless.

Which, You Know, Can Be Interesting

Which, You Know, Can Be Interesting

I thought long and hard today about what I could say in explaining myself a little more clearly. You’ll be happy to know I certainly did come up with a few little gems of explanation. I immediately lost them soon after however, so this is really a good news bad news scenario. I reference at this convenient point that age old adage stating we are our own worst critics, or at least anyone aware enough of themselves vs a standard. Everything is subjective of course, but I suppose the realm of criticism couldn’t exist without this fact. This brings us to yesterday, when I belligerently stumbled my way through an entire post, knowing full well how little time I had, and the amount of cohesive thought that went along with it. Sometimes, no matter how unprepared something is, you just gotta ship it.

Even if You Totally Don't Have An Ending

Even if You Totally Don’t Have An Ending

So yes, all of this leaves us at about a couple of days away from the biggest event of my life…

And There's Just No Stopping It

And There’s Just No Stopping It

Not that I would want to prevent E3′s collision course, though I do feel as if one can never really know how best to fight a celestial body, of which I classify E3 as here and now. I wish I was more prepared for this, though the time I’ve had in knowing I was going to the event,  all the way to and including this point was most certainly time I could have spared. As mentioned, life has a darkly funny nature of getting in the way. You’re left questioning, wondering, sometimes mindless in the face of it’s cruelty. I will save you the finer details of how this figured into my every day, but it did cause me enough of a miserable distraction that somehow, a celestial body did in fact sneak up on me. I fancy myself something stealthy, but that kind of sneaking is in a whole new realm of insane bullshit.

This Guy Knows What I'm Talking About

This Guy Knows What I’m Talking About

Still, E3 is right around the corner and I’m left scurrying about trying to get everything in order. I’m rhetorically debating with myself whether or not I ever could have been ready for E3, regardless of the amount of time I spent focusing on it, so it may be a moot point. I know as I write this and you read this, there’s an eagerness to talk about the games. Which ones are rumored, which ones will be delayed, which ones will be the sexiest of them all according to the mirror on the wall. I have some serious suspicions I’m not even fully aware of the answers at this point, but my aim is just and my presence accounted for. If nothing else, the tone of today’s writing vs yesterday’s should have a more compelling air of confidence about it, with every step forward acting as proof of courage in the face of fear.

Being compelled to move forward, excitedly on the outside, due to the glory of what E3 really represents, which is usually this:

Is Always This

OHHH!

Though I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you on the inside, I’m really more like this:

The Doctor PLEASE

LISTEN TO ME!

Fighting with oneself is a losing battle, at the end of the day, though I have had little choice in avoiding this turbulent point of ingress, as I stubbornly don’t listen.

This mixture of intense emotion and chaotic energy is leaving me battling with that harsh critic within. Yesterday, I wasn’t so sure about anything at all, despite being on the door steps of success. As I ready myself to look upon the hallowed halls of gaming glory, I’m left trying to tame the doubt that remains. I’m digging deep to pull up the energy and passion my long past self would have expelled instantaneously, and present day me still absolutely possesses, despite noisy internal conflict. I have to remind myself that from time to time, thinking is not relevant. Right now, at least in a certain sense, it’s not about the history of it, the politics, the philosophy, the ideas, concepts or theories surrounding it. The moment approaching is not about the before or after, it’s merely about the now. Very soon, now will be the time for E3, and it won’t matter how much I’ve thought about the very moment.

All that will matter is that I act upon it.

~Pash

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E3 Approacheth: 72 Hours Remain

Firstly, let me start off by saying the obvious.

Actually, I realize the name of the article has already done that, so I’ll go with the second most obvious.

Elton John picture inbound.

You Knew It was Coming

You Knew It was Coming

The Elton pic is a bit of a non-sequitor compared to the last two, but I really didn’t know how else to start off this post. In fact, this line of thought is largely a spray and pray effort all together, as I brace myself for the oncoming battle many have come to know as E3. Somehow and surprisingly, I failed to mention my confirmation that I was going to E3 on ATE at all, which is astounding, to put it lightly. One of the very reasons Active Time Event was even put into motion was as a means to an end, this very end (point in fact), and one I’m about to reach in a few days time.

A Sense Of Foreboding Hangs In The Air

A Sense Of Foreboding Hangs In The Air

So where have I been? While I could cite my editors gig on Gamersyndrome as taking up a chunk of my time, anyone who would bother to check would realize I’ve been woefully quiet in the past…two months really. Very few articles to speak of, compared to my normal work load, which is offensive when considering E3 is basically Christmas for gamers. Last year, I was writing for ATE, Gotgame and Gamersyndrome, pushing myself to the limits in providing as much coverage as humanly possible regarding the lead up to the show (and then the show itself). I even wrote a very bizarre piece involving a several part non-review of Animal Crossing, which made the work load even heavier (and odder). I mention this all as an absurd aside, as I wasn’t even going to E3 last year despite my constant blood letting in covering the event, which was still a pipe dream in the making.

Random Plug For Retro Game

Random Plug For Retro Game

But, I digress. I didn’t fully answer the question I posed: Where I’ve been. The answer is simple, though not exactly inspiring. I mean to say, and sadly so…I’ve been no where, at least no where I should have been. Not looking at endless screens of E3 hype, not busy writing out my own speculation involving the inevitable bounties the show will provide, and not killing myself trying to become a master of a domain I seek to conquer. No, the sad truth of the matter is that I didn’t end up reacting the way I always figured I would to this grand eventuality. Whether rationale or not, I’ve been largely beside myself, confused and most certainly in a state of chaos. Trying to find the energy to write, pondering my relationship to games and my general sense of being through and through.

Been A Bit Of A Mind Trip, Let's Say

Been A Bit Of A Mind Trip, Let’s Say

Probably not the exciting hype machine you wanted, and I sympathize with you dearly in your disappointment with me . As has been mentioned previously and can be cited historically (many times over I may add), I’ve always been stoked, psyched and completely excited for these paradigm shifts in gaming information. Observing the culture always entertains me, satiates me, each massive out pour of juicy information holding me over for the next big feast. E3, the biggest meal of them all, leaving me full and stuffed without effort. I only need look back at a number of journals and word documents I’ve written, detailing past expos’ I’ve watched from afar with great fervor, in reminding myself of the delicacy they represented. Endless documents proving my excitement, from a distance, talking about the event as If I was already there, even if only in spirit.

Why then, when I’ve been guaranteed success and am about to claim my long sought prize, do I falter and waver in the face of confusion? I’m not entirely sure, which makes sense, hence the confusion. I could mention a few events in the past six months that have most certainly contributed to an underlying sense of misery and distraction, though something as monumental as going to E3 should override all of that, bringing out energy that no amount of negativity could ever suffocate.

Reality Has A Tendency To Prove You Wrong

Reality Has A Tendency To Prove Me Wrong

Which is something I’m trying to keep in mind moving forward, something I have to keep in mind moving forward. I’m not even sure how I’m going to effectively cover the event, with very basic means and an overwhelming sense of overwhelmed senses, but rest assured, I’ll try my damnedest to. You may think this post is a little raw, and you’d be right. I don’t normally go on about myself at such great lengths without hiding behind the games as the relevant point of interest. The games, the very reasons I’m here, the things above all else that are worthy of y time and thought. Due to my own internal state of severe irrationality however, the impending storm I’m not quite ready for, and the magnitude of importance it all represents, I’m trying my best to not be without words…

…because when I’m finally at E3 and barely comprehend what it all means, it will be a tall task not to be speechless entirely.

~Pash

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